I need cheering up.....

4.2 V8 40v biturbo - 450 bhp
4.2 V8 40v biturbo - 480 bhp (plus)
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Cornishmoocher
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Location: FY/Kernow

I need cheering up.....

Post by Cornishmoocher » Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:45 pm

been doon the pub, had some beer, that dint work. The lovely landlady was lovely but that dint work either.

Anyone know any jokes?
It's all Bollox.
Half of what you read is bull and the other half is all <beep>.
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delboymafia
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RE: I need cheering up.....

Post by delboymafia » Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:49 pm

Things started getting physical with my new girlfriend last night, we were in bed and she said mine was the biggest c*ck she'd ever had her hands on. I said you're pulling my leg :jump_clap:
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Cornishmoocher
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RE: I need cheering up.....

Post by Cornishmoocher » Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:52 pm

Good one- it got a smile!

keep em coming lads.......
It's all Bollox.
Half of what you read is bull and the other half is all <beep>.
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alpinestars
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Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:37 pm

Post by alpinestars » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:17 pm

Prostitute is at the police station . . . the desk officer says "so when did you realise you were raped?" she replies, "when the cheque bounced".
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Future_RS6Owner
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Post by Future_RS6Owner » Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:33 pm

Mrs Doyle: Are you looking forward to your lunch tomorrow, Father?
Ted: Hmmm? I suppose so.
Mrs Doyle: You do like pheasant, don't you Father?
Ted: Pheasant? I love pheasant.
Mrs Doyle: Well there's a little clue. The thing you'll be eating likes pheasant as well.
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perthwaRS6
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Post by perthwaRS6 » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:40 pm

Paddy and his missus were lying in bed listening to the next door
neighbour's dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.

Suddenly Paddy jumped up out of bed and said: 'I've had enough of this' and goes downstairs.

Finally he comes back to bed and his wife says: 'The dog is still barking.
What have you been doing?'

Paddy says: 'I've put the dog in our yard. See how THEY fookin' like it!'
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cocker
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Location: West Essex

Post by cocker » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:47 pm

It's a good thing that Man United played away from home today, as with the planes being grounded, Old Trafford would've been empty as their fans couldn't travel
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jamesthecat
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Location: Finding out were people live,.Ask dvla its easy if you own private land.

cloud

Post by jamesthecat » Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:10 pm

i hear the cloud that has grounded all the planes is due to the eveton trophy cabinet being dusted :shock:
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Shoppinit
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RE: cloud

Post by Shoppinit » Sun Apr 18, 2010 9:30 am

What's got you down, dude?
Daytona RS6 C5 Avant. Viper'd, Billies, Waggers, MTM box brain, C6 stoppers, xcarlink, R8 coolant cap (woohoo)
///M3 E46 | XC90 (V8, natch) | Passat GTE | RR Classic V8 flapper
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."
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Cornishmoocher
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RE: cloud

Post by Cornishmoocher » Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:21 am

Ahh, just stuff, bad week......
vvvvvv
It's all Bollox.
Half of what you read is bull and the other half is all <beep>.
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Shoppinit
Cruising
Posts: 20282
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:24 pm

RE: cloud

Post by Shoppinit » Sun Apr 18, 2010 11:22 am

You'll have the barge back soon to take away your woes :) (or be the cause of new ones :( )
Daytona RS6 C5 Avant. Viper'd, Billies, Waggers, MTM box brain, C6 stoppers, xcarlink, R8 coolant cap (woohoo)
///M3 E46 | XC90 (V8, natch) | Passat GTE | RR Classic V8 flapper
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."
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Cornishmoocher
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Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:55 pm
Location: FY/Kernow

RE: cloud

Post by Cornishmoocher » Sun Apr 18, 2010 4:01 pm

:roll:
It's all Bollox.
Half of what you read is bull and the other half is all <beep>.
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Rupert
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RE: cloud

Post by Rupert » Sun Apr 18, 2010 4:48 pm

My Thai bride says I have a big cock.

Sorry, I forgot my punctuation.

My Thai bride says, "I have a big cock".
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Rupert
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RE: cloud

Post by Rupert » Sun Apr 18, 2010 4:48 pm

I've just bought a wig made from Bum hair









Damn thing keeps blowing off
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Rupert
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RE: cloud

Post by Rupert » Sun Apr 18, 2010 4:55 pm

My girlfriend is in tears, her rabbit just died.

Ironically, my mouse did at the same time.

Which is why I needed the batteries from her rabbit.
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