Bad jokes !

[RichRS6]

I know these are bad but they made me chuckle !!!


My dog has got no legs - I call him Cigarette.


Every night I take him out for a drag.




Man goes to doctor with a strawberry growing in his left ear.....


Doctor says "I'll give you some cream for that"




Q: I live in the artic and I don't know wether to laugh or cry. What animal am I?


A: A bipolar bear





Bloke goes into a cake shop on a hot Summer's day and asks for a wasp. "We don't sell wasps", the assistant tells him to which the man replies, "Well, you got one in the window."



An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk up to a bar and the barman says, "Is this some kinda joke?"



Shakespeare went into a pub and the barman said "Get out you're Bard"



Q. How many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. You dont know, you weren' t there, man!



A survey has shown that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.




A man keeps ringing me up and singing "Stand and Deliver" I tell him he's got the wrong number but he is adamant.

[david7m]

Not one of those cracked a smile for me

Dave

[deanobeano]

I was at the Severn Valley Railway today.

A depressed man asked me to help him to commit suicide, so I pushed him under a train....






He was chuffed to bits!

[MEV]

Two monkeys in the bath, one says to the other ooooooh ahhhhh ooo ahhh The other says...... put some f***ing cold in then !

[milistuart]

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker.

She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.â€