Garys story

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johneroberts
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Garys story

Post by johneroberts » Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:47 am

Gary came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Gary, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".

Gary was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to send me back straight away".



St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."



Gary was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later hewas covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.



"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.



The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"



"It's not so bad" replies Gary, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".



"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".



"Never" replies Gary



"Well just relax and let it happen"



And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him...ever!!!



The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Gary, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"
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TopBear
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Post by TopBear » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:35 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I need a cloth for my monitor now it's bathed in coffee
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W8PMC
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Post by W8PMC » Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:59 pm

Classic :lol:
Paul
03 Black AmD Stage3 C5 RS6 Saloon (Sold)
05 Blue DMS E60 M5 (Sold)
07 Blue DMS B7 RS4 Saloon (Sold)
10 White Nissan R35 GT-R Premium Edition SVM Stage 4 (Sold)
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SteveH
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Post by SteveH » Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:53 pm

Old'un but good'un.

If you want some funny clips, check this as a classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw
Present:...
Lotus Evora GT410 Sport, Caterham 420R, CCM Spitfire, VW T2 Bay Window 1976

Past:
DB11 AMR, 992, 991.2, Yamaha MT01, 640d Gran Coupe, 635d Coupe, RS6 C5, Audi TT 225 Coupe, Astra with wind up windows, Citroen ZX, Rover 213, yes behold, a Rover 213... Renault 5

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derdle
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Post by derdle » Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:17 pm

PMSL....rather than SMSL!
RS4 in the only colour to have - Misano Red | MRC Remap | RS6+ brakes | H&R and Custom Performance Parts suspension |
Huge Grin :biggrin3: If you dont "do it now" you never will.

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