Praise Be Brother Pastafarian - Hallelujah! The central belief of the CotFSM is that the entire universe was created by the FSM "after a bout of heavy drinking" ...
Now, shun the false 10 commandments of this Christian so-called God, and read ye well the 8 "I'd really rather you didn'ts" of the CotFSM! (copied below for your education)
The Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’tsâ€
Was God an astronaut?
You have learned well - you must have read the full scriptures written with tomato ink on lasagne sheets. The good thing about CotFSM is that if you are on a pilgrimage to the Holey Land (Holey as in Spaghetti Hoops) and your hunger goes unsatiated, then followers are permitted to eat their good book, for it is nutritious.
RS4 in the only colour to have - Misano Red | MRC Remap | RS6+ brakes | H&R and Custom Performance Parts suspension |
Huge Grin
If you dont "do it now" you never will.
Huge Grin
If you dont "do it now" you never will.
That's how religious movements start. Wait a couple of thousand years and Julian will be revered in folklore. Like the devil there will be an equivelent anti-Christ to the Flying Spaghetti Monster - he will probably drive a BMW and hog the outside lane of the motorway.derdle wrote:I'm glad I've found a fellow ... welcome to the fold.Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
DAMN IT! I can't wait a couple of thousand years ... I want reverence now you bastards!Julian mate slightly concerned about you following the 'teachings' of the no doubt all knowing all seeing all wriggling Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Can I ask you to reconsider and join our reverent group The People's Front of Judea, we are small in number compared to the 'high' churches however we are devout and follow the inspirational teachings of Brian - a guide who has told us he is not the Messiah.
To give you an example a passage from the book of Brian:
Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!
[they all stab themselves]
Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?
Brian?s mother: He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Brian: I'm not a roman mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, I'm kosher mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, <beep> off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we <beep> off, O Lord?
Ex-Leper: Half a dinare for me bloody life story?
Brian: There's no pleasing some people.
Ex-Leper: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.
Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the ass to be blunt and excuse my French, sir.
Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...
The Crowd: Sch!
Reg: [arriving at Brian's crucifixion] Hello, Sibling Brian.
Brian: Thank God you've come, Reg.
Reg: Well, I think I should point out first, Brian, in all fairness, we are not, in fact, the rescue committee. However, I have been asked to read the following prepare statement on behalf of the movement. "We the People's Front of Judea, brackets, officials, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. "
Brian: What?
Reg: "Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites. Signed, on behalf of the P. F. J. , etc. " And I'd just like to add, on a personal note, my own admiration, for what you're doing for us, Brian, on what must be, after all, for you a very difficult time.
Matthias: Look, I don't think it should be a sin, just for saying "Jehovah".
[Everyone gasps]
Jewish Official: You're only making it worse for yourself!
Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
Jewish Official: I'm warning you! If you say "Jehovah" one more time (gets hit with rock) RIGHT! Who did that? Come on, who did it?
Stoners: She did! She did! (suddenly speaking as men) He! He did! He!
Jewish Official: Was it you?
Stoner: Yes.
Jewish Official: Right...
Stoner: Well you did say "Jehovah. "
[Crowd throws rocks at the stoner]
Jewish Official: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! STOP IT! All right, no one is to stone _anyone_ until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say, "Jehovah. "
[Crowd stones the Jewish Official to death]
Clearly Brian is a man of the people and should be followed, preferably down to the local for an imbibe or two!
Can I ask you to reconsider and join our reverent group The People's Front of Judea, we are small in number compared to the 'high' churches however we are devout and follow the inspirational teachings of Brian - a guide who has told us he is not the Messiah.
To give you an example a passage from the book of Brian:
Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!
[they all stab themselves]
Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?
Brian?s mother: He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
Brian: I'm not a roman mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, I'm kosher mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, <beep> off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we <beep> off, O Lord?
Ex-Leper: Half a dinare for me bloody life story?
Brian: There's no pleasing some people.
Ex-Leper: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.
Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the ass to be blunt and excuse my French, sir.
Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...
The Crowd: Sch!
Reg: [arriving at Brian's crucifixion] Hello, Sibling Brian.
Brian: Thank God you've come, Reg.
Reg: Well, I think I should point out first, Brian, in all fairness, we are not, in fact, the rescue committee. However, I have been asked to read the following prepare statement on behalf of the movement. "We the People's Front of Judea, brackets, officials, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. "
Brian: What?
Reg: "Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites. Signed, on behalf of the P. F. J. , etc. " And I'd just like to add, on a personal note, my own admiration, for what you're doing for us, Brian, on what must be, after all, for you a very difficult time.
Matthias: Look, I don't think it should be a sin, just for saying "Jehovah".
[Everyone gasps]
Jewish Official: You're only making it worse for yourself!
Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
Jewish Official: I'm warning you! If you say "Jehovah" one more time (gets hit with rock) RIGHT! Who did that? Come on, who did it?
Stoners: She did! She did! (suddenly speaking as men) He! He did! He!
Jewish Official: Was it you?
Stoner: Yes.
Jewish Official: Right...
Stoner: Well you did say "Jehovah. "
[Crowd throws rocks at the stoner]
Jewish Official: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! STOP IT! All right, no one is to stone _anyone_ until I blow this whistle. Even... and I want to make this absolutely clear... even if they do say, "Jehovah. "
[Crowd stones the Jewish Official to death]
Clearly Brian is a man of the people and should be followed, preferably down to the local for an imbibe or two!
S4B5 Avant
Thankyou. Look forward to it...Blower wrote:Blower will deal with and answer your enquires tomorrow Clive.
Clive
S2 ABY coupe, S4 B5 saloon, S4 B6 avant
RS4 B7 phantom black saloon, mint, fully loaded, low mileage - FOR SALE!- http://www.rs246.com/index.php?name=PNp ... ic&t=88981
S8 D2 facelift, RS6 C5 saloon, both gone but not forgotten
S2 ABY coupe, S4 B5 saloon, S4 B6 avant
RS4 B7 phantom black saloon, mint, fully loaded, low mileage - FOR SALE!- http://www.rs246.com/index.php?name=PNp ... ic&t=88981
S8 D2 facelift, RS6 C5 saloon, both gone but not forgotten
I think the Noodly Appendage looks like a couple of bolox with worms ...... apart from that WTF are you going on about ....?
Im ready for the book of lies and battle of bullshit to commence ....... personally I go with the actual & physical ... not make believe .... so the Lord has my vote ........
........ LORD OF WAKEFIELD ....... .
Im ready for the book of lies and battle of bullshit to commence ....... personally I go with the actual & physical ... not make believe .... so the Lord has my vote ........
........ LORD OF WAKEFIELD ....... .
happy dayz .... party ....
The tribulation period(7 years) is a time of pure wrath, where God will utterly destroy those who rejected the gospel of Christ in favour for their own lusts. Pre trib is what I believe in for the following reasons. In John 14 Jesus said he was going to heaven to prepare a place for us and he would return for us. The bible also says that we(believers in Christ) are not appointed unto wrath. Also Christ said that he would come as a thief in the night, in other words believers would not know the time of his coming for them. The 1000 year reign of Christ is immediately after the tribulation. If we take any other position other than the pre trib position, it can be worked out when Christ will come for his saints making Jesus a liar when he specifically stated that he would come as a thief in the night. His coming for his saints is a totally seperate event from his coming to reign of this earth.
Is God a terrorist?
This is flawed logic if ever I did see it. I will ask you a question. If you continually break Gods laws and his commandments, how would you expect God to deal with you?
Falsehoods:
This simply means as I explained before that he is not a mediator between man and God, Jesus Christ is the only mediator, the only route into heaven and the only one who men should be confessing their sins to.
There has to be only 1 God as all these so called gods clash in their ideas and their models for a prosperously good life do not work except with the God of the bible. Plus all these other so called gods can be traced back to Babylon(S4-Tan country) and pagan worship. Also the God of the bible warned us about these false gods prior to their arrival.
Allah who was formely know as Hubal to the Arabians can be traced back 2000 years before Mohammed even came on the scene. The Arabs were pagan and their gods(360 of them) were pagan. Hubal(now known as Allah) was the chief idol of all. A simple investigation will reveal this. Also idols have been dug up in Arabia showing the symbol of Allah which is the moon clearly engraved on them, hence why mosques have a sign of the moon on them. Since Allah is supposed to be the god of the moon, he cannot be the God of the universe. I recommend the books Islam Unveiled and Islamic Invasion for reading.
Supposed Contradictions:
Your allusions to so called terrorism do not wash. As I gave the example to s4-tan of a child who misbehaves the same applies to God. God not only punishes people for doing wrong because he is just, but he also punishes because the behavior humans carry out is destructive to not only their on lives but to others. Unbelievable, thats like coming into court and not expect the judge ro pass sentence on you for breaking the law, is the judge a terrorist now because he has to exact the law and do what is right to protect criminals from others?
Maybe people might fear God if he revealed himself fully to them because he might not look like anything we have seen before, maybe because if he spoke, the whole earth would shake. It is simply because of his attributes, not because of terrorism.
Miscellaneous:
I never said that this doesn't happen in other churches, the example of the catholic church was given so that was the example I dealt with.
God doesn't make mistakes but man needs to make mistakes otherwise how would he learn? The mistakes that would have been made if man had not sinned and followed Gods law would be such a minor in comparision to the utterly foolishness he gets up to today.
God just respects man's position on this earth just as if I rented a house from you and rather than using the set of keys you have to come in the house anytime you wanted, you would rather knock on the door and ask to be invited in.
God will deal with all these other religions, that isn't a problem for him at all.
Well if you don't believe that he was the son of God, how do you explain the miracles he performed, where did they come from? Also why was his body never found? The tomb has been found where he was place but no body. Where is it. Mummified bodies from bc periods have been dug up in relatively good condition in all parts of the world, we should have at least found bones in the tomb but nothing, why?
S4- tan, gone up to heaven? Yeah right. Your name has to be written in the book of life to gain entry through the gates, he is a satanist, so his name is in the book of death, thats how I know that he hasn't been to heaven. Also reading the bible gives you indications to a degree of how some things work in heaven, though not all things are revealed.
No thats was directed at S4- Tan for bringing such a degrading link to this site, not you Clive.
I gave you numerous examples of science which confirm the biblical account already, check previous posts.
Please excuse any spelling mistakes.
Is God a terrorist?
This is flawed logic if ever I did see it. I will ask you a question. If you continually break Gods laws and his commandments, how would you expect God to deal with you?
Falsehoods:
This simply means as I explained before that he is not a mediator between man and God, Jesus Christ is the only mediator, the only route into heaven and the only one who men should be confessing their sins to.
There has to be only 1 God as all these so called gods clash in their ideas and their models for a prosperously good life do not work except with the God of the bible. Plus all these other so called gods can be traced back to Babylon(S4-Tan country) and pagan worship. Also the God of the bible warned us about these false gods prior to their arrival.
Allah who was formely know as Hubal to the Arabians can be traced back 2000 years before Mohammed even came on the scene. The Arabs were pagan and their gods(360 of them) were pagan. Hubal(now known as Allah) was the chief idol of all. A simple investigation will reveal this. Also idols have been dug up in Arabia showing the symbol of Allah which is the moon clearly engraved on them, hence why mosques have a sign of the moon on them. Since Allah is supposed to be the god of the moon, he cannot be the God of the universe. I recommend the books Islam Unveiled and Islamic Invasion for reading.
Supposed Contradictions:
Your allusions to so called terrorism do not wash. As I gave the example to s4-tan of a child who misbehaves the same applies to God. God not only punishes people for doing wrong because he is just, but he also punishes because the behavior humans carry out is destructive to not only their on lives but to others. Unbelievable, thats like coming into court and not expect the judge ro pass sentence on you for breaking the law, is the judge a terrorist now because he has to exact the law and do what is right to protect criminals from others?
Maybe people might fear God if he revealed himself fully to them because he might not look like anything we have seen before, maybe because if he spoke, the whole earth would shake. It is simply because of his attributes, not because of terrorism.
Miscellaneous:
I never said that this doesn't happen in other churches, the example of the catholic church was given so that was the example I dealt with.
God doesn't make mistakes but man needs to make mistakes otherwise how would he learn? The mistakes that would have been made if man had not sinned and followed Gods law would be such a minor in comparision to the utterly foolishness he gets up to today.
God just respects man's position on this earth just as if I rented a house from you and rather than using the set of keys you have to come in the house anytime you wanted, you would rather knock on the door and ask to be invited in.
God will deal with all these other religions, that isn't a problem for him at all.
Well if you don't believe that he was the son of God, how do you explain the miracles he performed, where did they come from? Also why was his body never found? The tomb has been found where he was place but no body. Where is it. Mummified bodies from bc periods have been dug up in relatively good condition in all parts of the world, we should have at least found bones in the tomb but nothing, why?
S4- tan, gone up to heaven? Yeah right. Your name has to be written in the book of life to gain entry through the gates, he is a satanist, so his name is in the book of death, thats how I know that he hasn't been to heaven. Also reading the bible gives you indications to a degree of how some things work in heaven, though not all things are revealed.
No thats was directed at S4- Tan for bringing such a degrading link to this site, not you Clive.
I gave you numerous examples of science which confirm the biblical account already, check previous posts.
Please excuse any spelling mistakes.
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