The Rules.

[bam_bam]

The Rules:

• 1. Photos or it didn’t happen/doesn’t exist
  2. It is perfectly acceptable for a new member to receive “Fúck off n00b” in reply to their first post. This may be abbreviated to FON if you are in a hurry. ADDENDUM: Must only be offered with warm welcomes of affection, 'coz we don't really mean it
  3. Any girl that drives an Audi is automatically 5% hotter than her non-Audi driving equivalent, this percentage increases exponentially with the addition of S, RS and R badge designations. By this rationale, Susan Boyle would be a perfect 10 if she drove the Audi R18, thank fúck that’ll never happen
  4. Porsche 911s will now be simply referred to as “Porkers”
  5. A new female member must receive at least 3 pages of ‘welcomes’ (FON optional), this exercise is too prove our manhood and reinforce rule 3
  6. There are no other rants after the Cornishmoocher. i.e. The Cornishmoocher rant is final
  7. The Audi 5pot will always place in the top 10 "Best engines of all time"
  8. Audi dealers will now be referred to as “stealers”
  9. The wider the better
  10. Caps Lock is only permitted when you are angry, when you are speaking in acronyms or twice a year on the designated Caps Lock days; October 22 and June 28
  11. There will be no more mention of the “C” word in the B7 forum
  12. Everyone shall receive a man card, it is your duty to regard this man card in high repute, drawing parallels between yourself and anything short of manly will lead to a forfeit of your man card, thereafter, you will be known as princess. ADDENDUM: A picture of a handbag will sufficiently override any valid point the princess attempts to establish against a man card carrying member
  13. Non-res for the win
  14. Resonated for those without man cards
  15. Posting links to a Wikipedia article about a m*n getting b*mmed by a h*rse constitutes totally acceptable behaviour
  16. Doug will only answer 1 in 10 questions asked on the forum
  17. Women w*nk more than men
  18. Quattro is king
  19. There’s no replacement for displacement
  20. If you have a problem either fix it yourself with help from the forum or contact Unit20 or MRC
  21. Where there are two girls, one cup will not be far away
  22. Plead the 22nd. Invoke this rule if you do not want to play by these rules anymore. Once invoked, this rule can be used against you because you find the rules too hard or not to your liking
  23. The Southern convoy will always be bigger than the Northern convoy
  24. The Southern Rolling road day will always manshame the Northern Rolling road day, prison style
  25. The "recommended dose" is only for non-card carrying members
  26. The OP is a cúnt
  27. If you excel at shít-stirring, the Cornishmoocher shall issue onto thee, a “Shít-Stirrers Convention International Officer” card, only the Cornishmoocher may revoke this card
  28. 10 inches may be achieved via 2 inch intervals at a minimum of 5 pumps
  29. If something is good, great or worthy, it shall attract the respectful comment "...all day long"
  30. 20+MPG = unacceptable 12-19MPG = try harder 2-11MPG = acceptable
  31. At the wheel horse power (WHP) is equal to using a penis pump, it's not bigger and it's not clever. Stop it
  32. All horses shall be broken
  33. Until further notice, "Shell V-Power" shall appear written as "V-Bastard"
  34. Roadsters are gay until proven otherwise
  35. 700BHP is the new 400BHP
  36. At least one gear shall be dropped for every tunnel traveled
  37. Being caught off-boost is the on-road equivalent of getting caught mid-masturbation
  38. DK shall always install a Miltek and an RNS-E shortly before selling his newly acquired Audi
  38a.DK is a car slaaaaaag
  39. No Galah shall be left unflaming
  40. Holden over Ford, Audi over BMW, Lamborghini over Ferrari, EVO over WRX
  41. No man has EVER curbed his wheels, it has always occurred due to extraneous situations completely out of his control, OR, his 'ho curbed his wheels
  42. The C5 RS alternator has a half-life of 3 years
  43. is the best Emoticon
  44. Bridgestone tyres shall now be known as Tombstone(s) tyres. During the transition of re-branding, they may appear written as BridgeTombstone(s)
  45. Amanda1 shall be known as "Cryptic" until further notice
  46. Tango'd front lights shall now be referred to as "Yankee Lanterns"
  47. From this day forward the Revolution Intake shall be known as the Mafia Intake, so named due to its propensity for killing MAFs
  48. Generic remaps will now be referred to as Lady Maps. This is in reference to Lady P receiving a remap from Hazzy Dayz
  49. Any car pictures posted of a Nardo coloured car, will be open to ridicule along the lines of "it'll look lovely once they finish off the paint job" or "so when is it going in for paint?"
  50. If you refer to bucket seats as "wingbacks", you can just fúck right off
  51. There's a little rascal whore in all of us. Otherwise known as रास्कल वेश्या (raaskal veshya)
  52. Golfather [not Golffather] shall henceforth be known to as "Bookfather". This is a portmanteau of his forum handle and his subtle, unsolicited book valuations offered to any user mentioning a car's value. Whether it's a pride and joy or not, Bookfather will drop book price truths bombs on you.

[HYFR]

brilliant

[Rick_RS4]

lmao

37 is awesome

[bam_bam]

lmao

37 is awesome

Haha, how about "off-boost isn't a design flaw, it's there to give the B7 a headstart."

[sonny]

haha brilliant stuff.

number 15, I shall never forget. Mr Hands.

[bam_bam]

haha brilliant stuff.

number 15, I shall never forget. Mr Hands.

Yeah, I think that one will get me into trouble.

[PhilT]

Brilliant. Might have to make this a sticky or even a global announcement

[amanda1]

haha brilliant stuff.

number 15, I shall never forget. Mr Hands.

Yeah, I think that one will get me into trouble.

You forgot rule 44 !!!!!

[Mr V10]

Haha, love that, but going back to point 18 'quattro' is spelt exactly like that, with a small 'q'. It looks wrong with a capital.

[bam_bam]

Amar, the original "Ur-Quattro" was spelt with a capital.

[amanda1]

Amar, the original "Ur-Quattro" was spelt with a capital.

Luke the original quatto was spelt with a lower case q

[bam_bam]

Amar, the original "Ur-Quattro" was spelt with a capital.

Luke the original quatto was spelt with a lower case q

*bam_bam leans back in his chair, locks hands behind his head and waits for the <beep> storm*

[amanda1]

Hmmm stirrer

[PJC]

Typical woman posting it the wrong way........

[PJC]

Luke, very funny as always.