I cannot believe that.....

[Cornishmoocher]

Not one person has posted any bad taste jokes about jacko popping his clogs! Where is the homour people??

So Feck it I will;

How bizzare that Farrah fawcett should die on the Same day as jacko; one played with Majors and one with Minors......

[sonny]

OK you asked for them here you go.



Jockeys at tomorrows horseracing meetings will wear black armbands out of respect for Jacko who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone in living memory

Reports of Michael Jackson dying are incorrect. He was caught in the children's ward having a stroke.

Michael Jackson has cancelled all upcoming dates. One is Thomas aged 9. Another is Dylan aged 6.

Apparently Michael Jackson died picking his nose. Doctors said they couldn't blame it on the sunshine or the moonlight. They blamed it on the boogie.

MJ's Family have consented and given Michael's body away to Lego...He will be melted down so that little boys all over the world can continue to play with him


What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney? Disney can still touch kids...

Early reports are that the Hospital does not know what to do with the body as plastic recycling is not collected until next Thursday.

McDonalds are commemorating Michael Jackson with the McJacko, a piece of 50 year old albino meat between two 8 year old buns

At the autopsy they found children's underwear strapped to his upper arm. According to his doctors it is just a patch, he's been trying to quit for a while.


Los Angeles police have now been round to Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch following his death. It is being reported that they found Class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his bathroom and Class 4C in his bedroom.


Police suspect a smooth criminal was responsible He was not alone. There was apparently a man in the mirror who was very dangerous and wanted to be startin something even though MJ told him to beat it and was heard to say leave me alone. Nobody knows if the suspect was black or white.

Whacko Jacko .. now believed to have died from from food poisoning ... he choked on some 12yr old nuts ..

Jacko died of a heart attack this morning shocked when he discovered that boyz II men was a band, not a delivery service

[trevithick]

I've heard that Rolf Harris is going to re-release two little boys in remembrance.
Plus the body is going to be melted into Lego bricks so kids can play with him for a change.
And Ami Beerhouse is going to sing at his cremation, Back to Black.
All true I heard it in the brewery.
T

[SteveH]

Great News Article:

MICHAEL JACKSON DIES IN SHOCKINGLY NORMAL FASHION

MICHAEL Jackson, the King of Pop, shocked the world last night by dying in an incredibly ordinary way.

His millions of fans were stunned after the singer died of a very normal heart attack instead of electrocuting himself while re-enacting scenes from The Wizard of Oz with a cast of under-age giraffes.

The heart, Jackson's last original body part, was due to perform in London next month where it was expected to pump blood to a pair of new legs, a borrowed arm and the 14th version of the singer's face.

In Los Angeles, as preparations began for the funeral, a spokesman for the Jackson family said: "While we want to respect Michael's wishes we may have to abandon his desire to have the coffin carried by eight chimpanzees. I don't think he really thought that through."

But it is understood Jackson will be buried in his favourite Peter Pan costume in a bid to ensure that his last journey is as weird and freaky as possible.

Uri Geller, Jackson's friend and now acting King of the Freaks, said: "I feel so desperately sorry for all the freaks today. He was their Diana, their Elvis, their Mother Theresa and their Jade Goody all rolled into one. Which is actually what he looked like too. Check out this spoon."

In Hollywood dozens of other stars paid their tributes, describing him as a genius, an inspiration and the sort of very close friend you did not need to have your picture taken with.

Later today thousands of fans are expected to gather outside Neverland, the singer's former home and shout 'ee-hee' in unison, while in London, tabloid newspaper editors are bidding over a grainy image, supposedly taken this morning, showing Jackson still very much alive and part of a travelling band of Bulgarian circus folk.

Meanwhile at Madame Tussauds wax museum, security guards are standing by to prevent visitors poking the Michael Jackson statue amid rumours the singer had finally found the perfect hiding place.

On the internet, chat forums were awash with Jackson tributes from people who were convinced he was a pervert and wanted him strung up, but who were now desperate to tell the world that he was a victim of the media and that Thriller was a ground-breaking work of genius.

Jen, from Milwaukee, wrote: "As you said Michael, Billie Jean was not your lover and neither was Macaulay Culkin, regardless of what I may or may not have written on my blog four years ago. I hope you find peace in freak heaven."

Pete, from London, said: "The way you danced like a zombie changed the way people thought about dancing like a zombie forever. Rest in Pop."

And Sam, from Rio de Janeiro, added: "You were my heart. I love you sing. You make special times but now you in heaven with all the children. Try not feel them up. God can see your hands now."

[Cornishmoocher]

thats more like it....... good lads!

All this car <beep> was doing my swede in!!!

[david7m]

Dave

[Cornishmoocher]

Top drawer!

[sonny]

HAHAHA

[trevithick]

Classic!