New ATM Proceedures
Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 2:33 pm
New ATM Procedures
>
>
>
> A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
> installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to
> withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
> facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
> accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
> FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
> steps for your gender."
>
>
>
> MALE PROCEDURE:
>
>
>
> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>
> 2. Put down your car window.
>
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
>
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>
> 6. Put window up.
>
> 7. Drive off.
>
>
>
> ***********************************************************
>
>
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
>
>
>
> 1. Drive up to cash machine!
>
> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
> the machine.
>
> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
>
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
>
> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
>
> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
>
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
> excessive distance from the car.
>
> 8. Insert card.
>
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
>
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
> inside back page.
>
> 11. Enter PIN.
>
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
>
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
>
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
>
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>
> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
>
> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
> cheque book.
>
> 18. Re-check makeup.
>
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
>
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
>
> 21. Retrieve card.
>
> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
> slot provided.
>
> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
>
> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
>
> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
>
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
>
> 27. Release HANDBRAKE Brake.
>
>
>
> A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
> installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to
> withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
> facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
> accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
> FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
> steps for your gender."
>
>
>
> MALE PROCEDURE:
>
>
>
> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>
> 2. Put down your car window.
>
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
>
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>
> 6. Put window up.
>
> 7. Drive off.
>
>
>
> ***********************************************************
>
>
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
>
>
>
> 1. Drive up to cash machine!
>
> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
> the machine.
>
> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
>
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
>
> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
>
> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
>
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
> excessive distance from the car.
>
> 8. Insert card.
>
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
>
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
> inside back page.
>
> 11. Enter PIN.
>
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
>
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
>
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
>
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>
> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
>
> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
> cheque book.
>
> 18. Re-check makeup.
>
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
>
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
>
> 21. Retrieve card.
>
> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
> slot provided.
>
> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
>
> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
>
> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
>
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
>
> 27. Release HANDBRAKE Brake.