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A January exclusive presentation.


with thanks to shineydave!





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OMG, i look like a chav. that's it, anyone want to buy a second hand RS246.com baseball cap, very light use

It looks like there's a chav standing next to you, eyeing up the cars, wondering which S2 to nick...!

Got a new job dave ? I can see you outside motorworld on a saturday with a small table showing how well it works ...

wondering which S2 to nick

or indeed, which of the four S4's to nick. right, off to Motorworld to see if i can make some pocket money with this Mr Muscle oven cleaner

Dave what month are you in Cheshire???

All great what a way to start the day

(No not detailing a car with a clay bar)

they won't stamp my visa to come over the Penines. why would i want to leave Gods country anyway, lol

I could have a word I am sure I could get you one, although coming from God's Country we would probably only allow you in for the day!

coming from God's Country we would probably only allow you in for the day!

yes i can see why you wouldn't want us Yorkies spreading the word, lol

Apolagies Admin it was Daves's fault - honest...

Reminds me of the Monty Python sketch

Four well-dressed men sitting together at a vacation resort. "Farewell to Thee" being played in the background on Hawaiian guitar.

Michael Palin: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.

Graham Chapman: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?

Terry Gilliam: You're right there Obediah.

Eric Idle: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?

MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

GC: A cup ' COLD tea.

EI: Without milk or sugar.

TG: OR tea!

MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.

EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."

EI: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.

GC: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!

TG: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!

MP: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.

EI: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpaulin, but it was a house to US.

GC: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!

TG: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.

MP: Cardboard box?

TG: Aye.

MP: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

GC: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!

TG: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

EI: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."

MP: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

ALL: Nope, nope..

Nice one Paul! PMSL

I used to be able to recite most of that off by heart...when I were a lad...

Looks like another one of those threads which is getting carried away with itself...good job it's Off Topic!

Won't be long before S4TAN's along...he's a big Python fan...

he's a big Python fan

errrrrrrrrrrrr?????

ummmm ... Clive got it slightly wrong, what i think he meant was: ."...fans of his big python...." - of which there are many! (naturally)

Would that be Eric the Python I thought you took it back to the pet shop, something about it being dead?

...well, my python certainly has seen some major front-line action and abuse over the years (careless girlfriend even trod on it the other day! ) - but i wouldn't say it was dead - pining maybe, but not dead ...

..oh, and it's not called Eric - it's been given various names through the years: Enormo, Leg3, Voyager (after the deep space probe) etc etc ...

Do I win £5?