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Wayne Rooney has just been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection.

England Captain, David Beckham has commented, "If that fat fu**er is getting a new Italian car then so am I".

glad to know you listen to Terry Wogan too Thought it was only old gits like me that listened

Ahh....actually got it as a joke on my mobile yesterday.

Might listen to a little radios (Wossy for example) but would never ever ever listen to Wogan...I'd rather push my RS4 over Beachy head than listen to Wogan.

Will confess to being and old git, but deffo not sad!!!

Paul

Thought this was quite funny



How temperature affects the mind!



40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees - Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.

0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on.

People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.

-10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct.

People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

-20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico.

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

-80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.

-100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.

-173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky kegs.

-297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying “A bit hill billy ... eh?”

-500 degrees - Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in the World Cup

Funny...except that absolute zero is -273 degrees centigrade, -459 degrees fahrenheit or 0 degrees kelvin......so at -273 everything stops including the Scots

I'm guessing that this was based on an american narrative, so -460 is their approximation to absolute zero.

simple1 wrote:glad to know you listen to Terry Wogan too Thought it was only old gits like me that listened

And me Simon, and me.

Not only that, I also listion to Sara Kennedy at 6.15am on the way to the station each morning - now that is not just sad, it's desperate !!