URGENT -- A new disease affecting 3 billion people

[tanoga]

BARS

In case you have not seen this warning yet..........

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome - BARS.

A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout the world. The disease, identified as BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) affects people of many different ages.

Believed to have started in Ireland in 1500 BC, the disease seems to affect people who congregate in Pubs and Taverns. It is not known how the disease is transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide are affected, with thousands of new cases appearing every day.

Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at 5:30pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is most keenly felt on Thursdays. More advanced symptoms of the disease include talking loudly, singing off-key, aggression, heightened sexual attraction/confidence, uncalled for laughter, uncontrollable dancing and unprovoked arguing. In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed, and speak incoherently. Vomiting, loss of memory, loss of balance, loss of clothing and loss of virginity can also occur.

Sometimes death ensues.

If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you quarantine yourself in a pub with fellow victims until last call or all the symptoms have passed. Sadly, it is reported that the disease can reappear at very short notice or at the latest, on the following Thursday. Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer headaches and divorce.

There is not, and probably never will be, a permanent cure....

[img]images/graemlins/062802drink_prv.gif[/img]

[wazza]

I've just come back from a partial cure [img]images/graemlins/062802drink_prv.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]