Comedy gold!
https://store.034motorsport.com/hella-f ... g-kit.html
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Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit
Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit
2007 RS4 B7 Avant
Phantom Black | Black Optics | MRC Stage 2 | JC Weldfab Exhaust | KW V3 coilovers | H&R ARBs | 20" Ispiri ISR-8 | Titanium wing mirrors | Driving Passion Diffuser | CF Air Intake | Manifold deflap | Alcantara/leather retrim | TT RS Steering Wheel | Pioneer Apple Carplay HU, JL amp and sub, Focal components | Clear Headlight Lenses, Black Internals, 6000K Bulbs | Trups LEDs | LED Tail lights |
Re: Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit
...and this is demonstrated in the perfect colour. It sums up those Noggytards perfectly "what do you buy a man that has attained greatness with his car colour selection?"FaisalJ wrote: ↑Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:00 amComedy gold!
https://store.034motorsport.com/hella-f ... g-kit.html
Well fcuk! Get him the Hella Flush Stance kit.
It is great to see companies doing stuff like this, it makes it even better when a Noggy rip is thrown into the mix.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Re: Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit
Hahaha
Quote:
It's not easy being a suburban pimp.
Yea, you got your sick kicks from Fatlace, your new hoodie from Illest, your pants are just the right proportion of sag and tight, male and female. Your hat perched on your head with just the perfect amount of off-center kilter. Your shirt looks like you were standing against a wall that was graffitied in the 80's.
You've got the ultimate girl friend who always looks like she's about to cry, her unfinished tattoos, applied when she was close to blacking out drunk, are an inspiration to the vision she lives her life with. They will look even better in 30 years.
You've been in college for 6 years and are kicking ass, making great progress - you should have enough units to get your general courses out of the way in 3-4 years.
All that is left is your car...
Its a former World Challenge GT Race car passed down to you from your Dad, though it can lap Laguna Seca in under a minute thirty and pulls 1.8 g's sustained in cornering, its just not hella flush and its cramping your style.
The racing springs and Ohlins TTX shocks keep the contact patches perfectly on the ground at all times, but they're just too high. The fender gap is 1 finger tall, and the wheels sit too far inset, the tires don't even rub on the fenders! Its a travesty and you're tired of being the butt of jokes at the local GTG at the Asian bubble tea store. The perfectly installed tires look sorely too narrow and need to be stretched to the point of destroying the contact patch.
Bottom line, the car is way to fast and not hella flush enough.
A local Shop in town quoted what you need to do, but its super expensive and you already spent all your money cutting up a bunch of vinyl dope Stickers. They want to sell you air bags, an expensive pump and control system - you need to notch your frame rails so the axles will clear. The list goes on and on.
Well, 034Motorsport has the solution for you!
As fast and easy to install as an Ed Hardy shirt, the 034Motorsport Hella Flush Lowering Kit gives your car the Hella Flush look that will make you the envy of all your friends.
Why $795 you ask? Well, this is really good vinyl, plus the engineering and development time that went into this product is second to none. Plus to properly lower your car this low would cost at least $10,000 so this is really a bargain!
Buy and install your kit today, rock your alternative life style with confidence, be different than everyone else with millions of other people, stand for a way of life that says "My life has meaning because I carry style swagger"!
Quote:
It's not easy being a suburban pimp.
Yea, you got your sick kicks from Fatlace, your new hoodie from Illest, your pants are just the right proportion of sag and tight, male and female. Your hat perched on your head with just the perfect amount of off-center kilter. Your shirt looks like you were standing against a wall that was graffitied in the 80's.
You've got the ultimate girl friend who always looks like she's about to cry, her unfinished tattoos, applied when she was close to blacking out drunk, are an inspiration to the vision she lives her life with. They will look even better in 30 years.
You've been in college for 6 years and are kicking ass, making great progress - you should have enough units to get your general courses out of the way in 3-4 years.
All that is left is your car...
Its a former World Challenge GT Race car passed down to you from your Dad, though it can lap Laguna Seca in under a minute thirty and pulls 1.8 g's sustained in cornering, its just not hella flush and its cramping your style.
The racing springs and Ohlins TTX shocks keep the contact patches perfectly on the ground at all times, but they're just too high. The fender gap is 1 finger tall, and the wheels sit too far inset, the tires don't even rub on the fenders! Its a travesty and you're tired of being the butt of jokes at the local GTG at the Asian bubble tea store. The perfectly installed tires look sorely too narrow and need to be stretched to the point of destroying the contact patch.
Bottom line, the car is way to fast and not hella flush enough.
A local Shop in town quoted what you need to do, but its super expensive and you already spent all your money cutting up a bunch of vinyl dope Stickers. They want to sell you air bags, an expensive pump and control system - you need to notch your frame rails so the axles will clear. The list goes on and on.
Well, 034Motorsport has the solution for you!
As fast and easy to install as an Ed Hardy shirt, the 034Motorsport Hella Flush Lowering Kit gives your car the Hella Flush look that will make you the envy of all your friends.
Why $795 you ask? Well, this is really good vinyl, plus the engineering and development time that went into this product is second to none. Plus to properly lower your car this low would cost at least $10,000 so this is really a bargain!
Buy and install your kit today, rock your alternative life style with confidence, be different than everyone else with millions of other people, stand for a way of life that says "My life has meaning because I carry style swagger"!
Re: Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit
Fcuking hell Mike I can't read all that, got bored after the 3rd line. I like pictures
Just use masking tape, in it
Just use masking tape, in it
RS4 B7, Mugello Blue, K&W V3 & HR ARBs, set up by Centre Gravity, Milltek Valved Non Res & cat bypass pipes, BMC air filter, braided hoses, DOT 5.1, Terraclean, MRC Full Carbon Clean, MRC remap 448PS 477NM, 20" S7 alloys with 4mm spacers & Hawke spigots 66.6 > 57.1, AP Racing front discs. Sold Sept 2019. Now rocking an F80 M3
Re: Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit
You should read it, it’s hilarious.
Cheers
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