US TV show on Iraq war

[Thorney]

Shamelessly stolen from Elise BBS;

Experts with newscaster on CNN 24th March.

3 American experts including a former 2-star general from delta force, 1 ex-SAS and the network's anchor.
Being shown footage of Iraqis giving themselves up:

anchor: We have no verification as of yet if they are British or American troops taking these POW's

yank1: Only americans wear boots like that, they're American

yank 2: I agree, and they appear to have American camouflage jackets.

yank 3 (delta force bloke): I'm not so sure, there's not enough up-close detail to tell 100%, we'd need some close images to tell make of boots and jackets and maybe the shape of their Kevlar headgear.

Ex-SAS Soldier: Call yourselves experts? Since when did US forces use an SA80 as a standard issue rifle? Their DPM's can be bought as can boots so you're chasing rainbows if you want to identify them from their clothes.

anchor: I think you're right.

Ex-SAS Soldier: Course I'm bloody right. Any one with half a brain and basic military training worth their salt should be able to identify a British soldier by his rifle. Not to mention the fact they're covering all points properly, not shouting "woo yeah" randomly, and haven't raised a flag in direct contravention with orders.

at this point 1 of the yanks walks off stage tearing his mic off, and the anchor says "I think we can safely say the soldiers on your screen are British. Now for these messages".

fade to ad break/ [img]images/graemlins/jump.gif[/img]

[PhilT]

Excellent [img]images/graemlins/roflmao.gif[/img]

[same]

Thats great!

On this subject have you seen what's available on Iraqi TV today?

06.00 - Morning Prayers

07.30 - "The Rock 'n Roll Years 629 AD" - A look back at the events of
the last year, including the execution of 2,300 dissidents and the
opening of a new French oil refinery.

08.00 - FILM: "Saddambusters" - Dramatisation of the glorious 1991
Iraqi victory in Kuwait.

09.30 - "Have I Got Genocide For You" - Celebrities make weapons of mass
destruction out of everyday objects.

10.00 - "Holiday" - The team check out nice places for the Saddam
family to retire. Featuring: North Korea, Rhodesia and France.

10.30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"

11.30 - "Tomorrow's World" - New torture inventions for scientists who
refuse to make nuclear bombs.

12.00 - "Green Peter" - The total amount of smallpox virus bought by the
milk bottle top appeal is revealed. Also - three ways to burn a flag,
and how to make a President Bush effigy.

12.30 - "Only Fools and Camels" - Dhal-Boy offloads some dodgy French
rocket-launchers to a bloke from Hamas.

13.30 - "Koranation Street" - Deirdrie faces execution by cat o'nine
tails for being a shiite.

14.00 - "Question Time" - Members of the public face awkward questions
from the Secret Service.

15.00 - "Allah McBeal"

15.30 - "You've Bin Ladened" - Amusing footage shot secretly in Iraq's
prisons. The film-makers were also secretly shot.....DEAD

16.00 - "Middle-East Enders" - The entire cast is beheaded for not
saluting when Saddam comes on the telly.

16.30 - "Sadd's Army" - The Basra-on-Sea home guard repel another attack
by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels. Fraser has his willy
hacked of for stealing some of Corporal Jones's sausages.

17.00 - "Wheel of Terror"

17.30 - "Talitubbies" - Dipsy and Tinky-Winky make nerve-gas.

18.00 - FILM: "Saddam's Angels" - The three burkha-clad sleuths go
undercover to expose an evil scheme to bring democracy and free speech
to Iraq.

19.30 - "Big Brother" - Who will be taken to Baghdad and executed this
week?

20.30 - "Xena: Modestly Dressed Housewife" - Xena stays at home in a
mask and does some housework.

21.30 - "Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer".

22.30 - "The Sky At Night" - What to see in the Iraqi night sky during
March: including B52 Bombers, Stealth Fighters and Cruise Missiles

Have fun

Sam

[img]images/graemlins/audiS4black.gif[/img]

[toasty]

Oh dear. [img]images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[chrisa1]

Brilliant

[img]images/graemlins/roflmao.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/roflmao.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/roflmao.gif[/img]

[wazza]

Love it [img]images/graemlins/jump.gif[/img]

[Riz_RS4]

[img]images/graemlins/clap.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/roflmao.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/jump.gif[/img]

[same]

Oh dear, here's another one.

All of Saddam Hussian's body doubles are called to a meeting to discuss
the recent bombing campaign, after all 25 of them have settled down the
head bodyguard says to them all:-
'I have some good news and some bad news'
One of the braver doubles asks, 'What is the good news?'
The head bodyguard replies 'Well the good news is that Saddam is still
alive, so you still all have jobs'
'What's the bad news then?' asks another.

The bodyguard replies ' Well he did lose an arm.....'

Sam [img]images/graemlins/audiS4black.gif[/img]

[Bushy]

lol [img]images/graemlins/newsaw.gif[/img]

[toasty]

Saddam's son comes back from supermarket with all the shopping in a box.
When asked why by Saddam he said "Because there's no bag dad." [img]images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]images/graemlins/thumbs.gif[/img]

[Riz_RS4]

[img]images/graemlins/jump.gif[/img] Is his name spelt Hussain (like mine [img]images/graemlins/1syellow1.gif[/img]) or Hussein?

[Jon]

the latter riz, don't worry i don't think your related.

[Jon]

Taliban TV Guide

MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Usama Says Its Right"
9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "Bowling For Food"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"

THURSDAYS:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"
9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"

FRIDAYS:
8:00 - "Judge Laden"
8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
9:00 - "Who Wants To Execute A Multimillionaire"
9:30 - "Achmeds Creek"
10:00 - "No-witness News"

[Riz_RS4]

[img]images/graemlins/1syellow1.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/jump.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/thumbs.gif[/img]

[dog]

The Americans are asked at a news conference how do they know that Saddam has weapons of Mass destruction. "Because what he declared does not mach our receits"