Was God an astronaut?

[Turbo Joe]

Tell you what - let's just settle this now:

Blower - you've been right all along.

So, in synopsis then: A wrathful and vengeful God exists, It created the entire universe and all life-forms in 6 days, the universe is only 6,000 or so years old, Adam and Eve were real people, so was Noah, Heaven and Hell are real places, Dinosaurs were on the Ark, a guy called Jesus was a super-human miracle worker who was born of a virgin woman - he could walk on water and resurrect himself after death, the Anti-Christ is real and lives amongst us, modern day science is fraud and lies and part of a larger Satanic conspiracy theory, the fossil record is a lie, every single one of us is born a sinner without exception and we'll all go to Hell unless we believe in Blowers God, all other religions except Blowers are false and their adherents will burn in Hell for following the wrong God, all the other people who don't follow any God at all will also burn in Hell, and I am almost certainly going to Hell when I die wherein I will be tortured for eternity in the flames of purgatory by my supposed master (Satan).

Yep - all sounds very reasonable and credible to me.

2 words for you sir, lifestyle preservation.

[S4TAN]

2 words for you sir, lifestyle preservation.

Thank you Sir for your kind patience in this matter.

[Turbo Joe]

As for the synopsis, that is exactly correct, and yes it is a reasonable account. It sure fits better than to say that we came from a rock 4.6 billion years ago. we have 46 chromosomes, a rock has 0, I see a problem here sir!

[S4TAN]

Never considered that life could've been delivered to this planet on a comet or an asteroid then?

Actually forget that - it'll be a fruitless debate. Your point about rocks having chromosomes is just plain daft. And you'll no doubt counter with "well how did the comet/asteroid get life on it ..." etc

Best we just agree to disagree now I think Blower.

If you think that my synopsis is reasonable then we may as well be aliens from different planets (then again your religion probably doesn't allow for that) - just to make it clear though: my synopsis was facetious.

Best wishes to you Sir - may all your dreams come true.

[Turbo Joe]

Agree to disagree then sir. As for dreams, no need sir, the man upstairs will provide resources for my needs.

[s4woody]

As for dreams, no need sir, the man upstairs will provide resources for my needs

thats about the funniest thing you've written yet...

[Turbo Joe]

Still on the run eh Woody? I'll pre book you in for trauma support in knowledge of your pending defeat!

[s4woody]

Still on the run eh Woody

dont see you going to many meets blowjob..this could have been sorted ages ago..but hey..to busy praying for things so ya man upstairs can carry on accomedating your fetishes i suppose..

[GardinerG]

FPMSL Woody

[philipwalker]

I had a cracking dream last night about the bird in the chippy. Can I thank the good lord for that one??

Only joking!!

[VARSITY]

But why is a God a man? Why can't he be a woman?

[JohnW]

'He' can be anything you like varsity, we just choose to visualise 'him' as a male human being.
So if woody likes, god could infact be that bird in the chippie, come to answer his prayers in person, as it were

[Jarv]

So if woody likes, god could infact be that bird in the chippie, come to answer his prayers in person, as it were

Hey, that's Philips fantasy bird, woodman can get his own!

[s4woody]

i can see her now..waynetta slob covered in potato peelings smoking a fag and keeping the savaloy's warm in here special place...
philip you need to get out more...

[JohnW]

, my mistake Jarv.

Re Waynetta - woody you have strange tastes...
Btw I like your signature. 990 adventure for me thank you please