How to give a Cat a Pill (from Scoobynet)

[jeffw]

[img]images/graemlins/biggrin3.gif[/img] [img]images/graemlins/jump.gif[/img]

[Bushy]

?

[johneroberts]

?
is that a post?
no wonder you got nearly 900 [img]images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]
Jr

[jeffw]

Don't know what happened there but this is what was mean't to be in it....


1. pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if
holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's
mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As
cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and
swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa and repeat
process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of
mouth with right forefinger, hold mouth shut for count of ten.

5. retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front
and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head
firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill
down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep figurines
and vases from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head
just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw force
mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.


9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one
beer to take taste away. Apply band aid to spouse's forearm and remove
blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill open
another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head
showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon flick pill down throat with
elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on
hinges. drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch pour shot, drink. Apply
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply
whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. toss back another shot. throw t
shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve the cat from tree across the
road. apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while
swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13 Tie the little *******s front paws to rear paws with garden twine
and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves
from shed . Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak be
rough about it hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down
throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to
A&E; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill
remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring
local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters..


How to give a Dog a pill

1. wrap it in bacon...

[chrisa1]

[img]images/graemlins/biggrin3.gif[/img]

[Bushy]

thats excellent

worth the wait [img]images/graemlins/jump.gif[/img]