New ATM Proceedures

[johneroberts]

New ATM Procedures

>

>

>

> A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is

> installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to

> withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new



> facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when

> accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &

> FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate

> steps for your gender."

>

>

>

> MALE PROCEDURE:

>

>

>

> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.

>

> 2. Put down your car window.

>

> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

>

> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

>

> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

>

> 6. Put window up.

>

> 7. Drive off.

>

>

>

> ***********************************************************

>

>

>

> FEMALE PROCEDURE:

>

>

>

> 1. Drive up to cash machine!

>

> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with

> the machine.

>

> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

>

> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate

card.

>

> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

>

> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

>

> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its

> excessive distance from the car.

>

> 8. Insert card.

>

> 9. Re-insert card the right way.

>

> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the

> inside back page.

>

> 11. Enter PIN.

>

> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

>

> 13. Enter amount of cash required.

>

> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

>

> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

>

> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

>

> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of



> cheque book.

>

> 18. Re-check makeup.

>

> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.

>

> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.

>

> 21. Retrieve card.

>

> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the

> slot provided.

>

> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

>

> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

>

> 25. Redial person on cell phone.

>

> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

>

> 27. Release HANDBRAKE Brake.