A couple of jokes....

[derdle]

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!

Glasgowcop says," License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Glasgowcop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Glasg ow cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Glasgowcop says, "The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Glasgowcop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the f*ck out of the lawyer and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow down?"

..........................

Winter Snow

One winter morning in Michigan a couple was listening to the radio while eating breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they were again eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they were again having breakfast, when the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park .." Then the electric power went off.

Norman's wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman said. "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.

[quattrokid1]

lol!!