what's the most ridiculous thing.......................

[shineydave]

A policeman has said to you..........

mine was a few years back when i was dropping my brother-in-law back at his home. i got pulled over for a chat. crux of the matter was i didn't pull over when they flashed me because i couldn't tell it was a ECILOP because the N/S headlight was out out of adjustment and was dazzling me.

anyway, after a lengthy discussion about the roadworthyness of my car the driver said i was lucky he was going off duty otherwise he would have arrested me for driving in my carpet slippers.

[SteveH]

Not ridiculous but was intersting line of questioning on the M1 North a couple of months ago:

First: "Whats the 0-60 in that thing as I could'nt keep up?"
Second: "Why do you think I pulled you over sir?"
Third: "I bet the brakes are brilliant!"

Very nice petrolhead officer who gave me constructive guidance instead of a penalty offence.

[ScottyBoy]

1. When me and my wife first got together we were caught with underwear round ankles and everything exposed, the copper asked us what we were doing and i replied "what the f**K do you think we are doing".

2. Last christmas i come off a slip road didnt see the copper and booted up to warp speed, he caught me 10 miles later after i got slowed down by traffic. He asked me how fast i was going as he couldnt keep behind me long enough to get a read on me, i replied between 70 and 80....what else did he expect me to say.


I got away with both instances.

[viperbl]

I got pulled on the M6 for going to fast ... by the time he had caught up with me I had slowed down so he could not do anything. Anyway, he had a chat with me in his car warning me he would be watching for me, said there are not many Manx A4 Diesels around these parts blah blah blah, then said "I can see you have put a big bore exhaust on the diesel" (I had a 1.9Tdi badge on the 460 bhp S4!), I said yes sir (trying to not laugh!)

Anyway, he asked me if I know how to safely merge back in with the traffic from the hard shoulder? I said yes, he said well I am going to tell you anyway, what I want you to do is ... accelerate as fast as you can up to speed on the hard shoulder then indicate and merge back in.

Hmm … I am thinking, if I do drop the clutch and really go for it (like he told me to!) would he pull me again?!!??! I decided not to bother  wish I had now, might have made it a better story!

[derdle]

Dodgy Tyres
Many moons ago (probably when dinosaurs roamed the Earth) I had a MkII Cortina. A cop on a push bike (yep the kind with pedals) stopped me in a country lane. I might add that he didn't overtake me..he just happened to be in front. He looked the car over and warned me that my tyres were illegal. I had a cheque on the passenger seat made out to the local tyre place and told him that it was my first job (I think the cheque may have been a month old?). He accepted that and warned me that he'd be keeping an eye open for me. Know what, he stopped me next morning and noticed the new tyres.

Drink Driving
My Bro (now long departed) was arrested for drink driving back in the 80's. Cops tried to pull an 18 stone builder out of a Rover SD1 and said builder proceeded to throw coppers around the garden...big mistake to tackle an 18 stone fit builder with a Karate black belt. Big paddy wagon arrives and carts builder off to nick. Doctor takes blood sample and brother slurs..."Be careful with that Doc, there's a fivers worth of gin in there". Bloody copper read it out in Court in front of the beak!

The copper then complained that he tried to overtake my brother but he was driving in the centre of the rod to prevent the copper overtaking. This is not sounding too good in the Court, until my brother asked the Policemen where on the road he would drive if the road was 10 foot wide?
One very red policeman. One driving ban all the same.

Paul

[chalky]

I was stopped last week on a country lane, I failed to stop at first as having never been pulled before i just thought he was trying to get past,
eventually i stopped at a gated area to a field and just sat in my car

Up comes PC Pi!!ock, 20 years old all 9 Stone of him with his graesy hair and spots, and asked the most ridicolous question i have ever heard in my life............

baring in mind it was about 01:30 in the morning, and icy, frost in fields etc, crystal clear night no clouds.........

Q. Why havent you got your wind screen wipers on sir ?

I didnt answer him i just stared at him !

and again.........

Q. Why - Havent - You - Got - Your - Wind - Screen - Wipers - On ?
Real slow as though i was deaf, stupid and from another plannet.

At this point i was wondering how much the highway code had changed in the past 15 Years so to not incriminate myself i kept stum.

Off he went again so i thought F@!£ this and bounced out of the car holding out my hands to feel the rain..........................i followed this up by is it raining,

His reply, NO SIR, ITS NOT FOGGY EITHER BUT YOU CHOOSE TO DRIVE ROUND WITH YOUR FOG LIGHTS ON BLINDING OTHER ROAD USERS,

As i walked round to the back of the car to check my fog lights i was amazed when he said dont get smart with me sir you know exactly what i,m on about !

I was getting annoyed now so i told this kid to radio for back up and to request an ambulance,

Oh !!!!!! he said dont worry, back ups on its way, they lost you coming out of town and put out the vehicles description,

I said thats impossible i only live a mile away and i,ve come straight from home, "he had already asked me to switch my car off but i refused as it was warming up ! i told him it would damage the engine" Having turned his radio down to make himself heard he failed to realise the car that was heading his way had stuffed itself thro a stone wall and was about a quarter of a mile down the road from my house.............at this point he wanted to go but i demmanded his details,

I dont know why because i cant be arsed complaining,

Just thought i,d share that long winded one with you,

[shineydave]

Quality service from our splendid public servants