Yawning
Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 6:45 pm
tl:dr - a shiny new Beemer was made to look bit slow.
So, on a little drive to Windsor today, I ended up having a play with a Beemer M4. It was one of those powdery blue ones, I reckon the colour would look fantastic... on a toddler or a baby or maybe my hoe's handbag. Anyways, I was pootling along stuck in the outside lane behind a number of motorway drones, when I noticed the Beemer poking its nose into the middle lane a couple of times. I'd been toying with the idea of doing a mini undertake myself but I couldn't effectively spot any gaps due to being rammed up the arse of a white van.
A couple of minutes later Mr. Beemer skinned us all up the inside and slotted back into the outside lane a couple cars up, he did one of those cute little DSG farts as he went by, so, of course, I took this as a slight on everyone this forum and I began to exact our collective revenge. A bit further up the road, the inside traffic was thinning so I skipped across a few lanes and ended up with a nice clear line around EVERYTHING and found myself with four lanes all clear for a couple of gantries, so, as you do, I let the car yawn a bit and quickly found myself caught up to the next bunch of sheep.
This time I was slightly more awake, I'd also noticed that Baby Blue had freed himself and was getting close to installing himself on my tailgate. Once installed, some gaps opened up, so I opened the 'zoorst valves, I dropped two gears and went, he followed me through the inside lanes, thus telling me he clearly wanted to play. we made it back into an all clear outside lane, so I waited, he sat on my tailgate, undoubtedly it was on, so I stomped on it, what surprised it was when he quickly started going backwards, I mean he really dropped away, I don't think I got a jump on him but It went from a jog, to a run, to a sprint awfully quick, I'd put about 30 car lengths on him before I'd let off.
Arriving at another clump of cars with a bus in the middle, I found an easy few swerves through and waited at the front again. It took him a while but he finally caught up and crawled onto my tailgate again, I'd closed the valves by now but I dropped to third with a healthy chunk of revs and pulled left giving a clear run on the outside lane, I heard him do a fart or two and I took that as game on. I was already sitting at 4k so there wasn't a lot of hanging about, I saw the pale blue Beemer snout for a brief second then I was grabbing fourth and starting to really get my yawn on, I kept my foot in all the way through fourth and then snatched fifth, I held fifth for a couple of thousand then I really had to throw out the anchors. My eyes were bulging by this point and my chest felt like I'd slammed 4 Redbulls, this car causes serious tunnel vision when pressing on in anger, I'm thankful for the controls feeling weighty at speed, it just hates to stay under a hundred. I digress. So I looked up and Mr. Beemer was just a light blue dot. After another weaving session I switched to 'making sensible progress' mode, I didn't see the Beemer again until I'd slowed to make a junction, he continued on.
This car is fucken scary how it will go through gears, it's breaking traction easily in the first three gears, even fourth and fifth are very interesting in the damp and under WOT you need to be ready for comical torque-steer through any rutted road. When driving with the TC on it can be too boggy and with it off you need to be wide awake! Thankfully the brakes are immense, it's still gotta be one of the best mods I've done, although, I feel Footers can take most of the credit for making the brakes happen.
I do like this crazy thing but I need to move this car on, I'll be very lucky to not get a summons in the mail after today's adventure. At least I can take some comfort that the Beemer would be slapped with one as well.
In before the "you drive like a tonk"; yeah I know but all gaps were taken very easily, trust me...
So, on a little drive to Windsor today, I ended up having a play with a Beemer M4. It was one of those powdery blue ones, I reckon the colour would look fantastic... on a toddler or a baby or maybe my hoe's handbag. Anyways, I was pootling along stuck in the outside lane behind a number of motorway drones, when I noticed the Beemer poking its nose into the middle lane a couple of times. I'd been toying with the idea of doing a mini undertake myself but I couldn't effectively spot any gaps due to being rammed up the arse of a white van.
A couple of minutes later Mr. Beemer skinned us all up the inside and slotted back into the outside lane a couple cars up, he did one of those cute little DSG farts as he went by, so, of course, I took this as a slight on everyone this forum and I began to exact our collective revenge. A bit further up the road, the inside traffic was thinning so I skipped across a few lanes and ended up with a nice clear line around EVERYTHING and found myself with four lanes all clear for a couple of gantries, so, as you do, I let the car yawn a bit and quickly found myself caught up to the next bunch of sheep.
This time I was slightly more awake, I'd also noticed that Baby Blue had freed himself and was getting close to installing himself on my tailgate. Once installed, some gaps opened up, so I opened the 'zoorst valves, I dropped two gears and went, he followed me through the inside lanes, thus telling me he clearly wanted to play. we made it back into an all clear outside lane, so I waited, he sat on my tailgate, undoubtedly it was on, so I stomped on it, what surprised it was when he quickly started going backwards, I mean he really dropped away, I don't think I got a jump on him but It went from a jog, to a run, to a sprint awfully quick, I'd put about 30 car lengths on him before I'd let off.
Arriving at another clump of cars with a bus in the middle, I found an easy few swerves through and waited at the front again. It took him a while but he finally caught up and crawled onto my tailgate again, I'd closed the valves by now but I dropped to third with a healthy chunk of revs and pulled left giving a clear run on the outside lane, I heard him do a fart or two and I took that as game on. I was already sitting at 4k so there wasn't a lot of hanging about, I saw the pale blue Beemer snout for a brief second then I was grabbing fourth and starting to really get my yawn on, I kept my foot in all the way through fourth and then snatched fifth, I held fifth for a couple of thousand then I really had to throw out the anchors. My eyes were bulging by this point and my chest felt like I'd slammed 4 Redbulls, this car causes serious tunnel vision when pressing on in anger, I'm thankful for the controls feeling weighty at speed, it just hates to stay under a hundred. I digress. So I looked up and Mr. Beemer was just a light blue dot. After another weaving session I switched to 'making sensible progress' mode, I didn't see the Beemer again until I'd slowed to make a junction, he continued on.
This car is fucken scary how it will go through gears, it's breaking traction easily in the first three gears, even fourth and fifth are very interesting in the damp and under WOT you need to be ready for comical torque-steer through any rutted road. When driving with the TC on it can be too boggy and with it off you need to be wide awake! Thankfully the brakes are immense, it's still gotta be one of the best mods I've done, although, I feel Footers can take most of the credit for making the brakes happen.
I do like this crazy thing but I need to move this car on, I'll be very lucky to not get a summons in the mail after today's adventure. At least I can take some comfort that the Beemer would be slapped with one as well.
In before the "you drive like a tonk"; yeah I know but all gaps were taken very easily, trust me...
love the fact you opened the valves up then gave it the beans!!!new box is work well then..