the 2,500 mile trip in the RS6 part 1

[installer69]

Unanimous 100% wanted it (all 3 of you) so here is part 1 (I'll do it in bits cos a/ it'll make it easier to read and b/ I can post it as I get round to it:

Preparation. I can spell it but never could put it into practise. Day before the trip with all 5 family passports intact (story for another time about the last trip sans valid passport) eurotunnel booked, hotel in Luxembourg (at a brewery!) booked, rac euro assistance (bear in mind the one you get with the car doesn't cover europe) green card, travel insurance and the form to get healthcare in europe safely stashed. *original* nav discs of France, Benelux and Italy in the glovebox and my tom tom as back up. Even 150 euros in cash from the last trip in the centre console.

I was feeling smug.

Just time to get the wheels balanced to sort out the 100mph + vibration. "needs new fronts" came the cheery diagnosis from oily tyre chap! None in stock, of course, not even with tomorrows trip on the horizon. Then he swapped to helpful mode. "actually, they've got a bit left in 'em (wasn't suposed to be 2500 but we'll get to that) as it's just the inner edges (same as first set just 4000 miles earlier) so I'll stick them on the rear.

We missed the train. Fortunately with the new pricing structure it was no problem - get the next one, no extra. Arrived in France early morning and set off for Luxembourg.

The sat nav located us instantly and the address was entered which saw us skirting through Belguim on our route.

So there I was at about 100 behind this volvo for ages when he pulled into the middle lane and slowed down. Must be turning off thought I foolishly. Next thing I know there is a police bike up my chuff. Pulled me off at the next layby. Fortunately I'd slowed to under 80mph. I must say that either they are worse on speeders or just worse on UK speeders. 77mph = 150 euro fine, payable then!! My only 150 euros that I had in cash. The onward implications of this were to become far more serious.

In the UK two things are certain. At the services the toilets are free and every petrol station has a cashpoint. Needless to say after 3 service stations we ended up going in the bushes.

With the kids crying hunger I tried an off motorway detour into the countryside to find one of the villages on the sat nav for a cashpoint. Don't be fooled, it may look substantial on the map but it will have 1 shop. closed 1/2 day, no bank and 3 houses.

We ate at Luxembourg! Eventually found lots of banks.

You'll want to hear about high speed sustained cruising through foriegn countries - later. I was so annoyed by the Belgians that I stuck to the speed limit ish for the rest of the day. Why can't europe have a standard speed limit, they want everything else to be the same.

Hotel had secure parking, brewery, meat smokehouse and excellent food. We stocked up with meat and rolls at their deli in the morning for the next leg.

How hard can Luxembourg to Italy be? Of course, had I spoken German I would have realised that the floods I was watching on TV that night were en-route in Switzerland.

Part two = "Daddy, why is the road down in the valley"

Let me know if you want me to carry on.

[Demon]

Keep them coming

[shimmy]

i wasn't interested at first but now i am sort of hooked (a bit like LOST as its not gripping and a bit staged but if i dont watch(read) the rest I feel like I am missing out on something!)

[tanoga]

not to interest, but could someone tell me whats been said

[installer69]

The previous day's speeding robbery forgotten I set off at a brisker pace.

One thing I would recommend to anyone with the old cd sast nav if doing a trip like this is buy the major roads of western europe nav disc. (and learn German!) Nothing like shouting at the wife to change discs as you go between countries.

Anyway, I digress, off we trundled on our way to Switzerland. Got to the border to find you actually have to stop! I'd always joked that getting lost in the UK and you and up at the coast after not too long, in Europe because of the dropping of borders if you take a wrong turn you might end up in Russia...unless you hit Switzerland and they rob you of Euros (40 swiss francs) just to drive on their motorways (or is it just for the pretty sticker) Of course, after the nice man took my money he asked where we were going then pointed out that the motorway was closed! Gee, thanks.

Oh, more advice, take a map as well as sat nav then you might know that the road he's just told you is closed is the one you are on and that if you pass the next exit, when you meet up with the nice army policemen 40km further on it wil be that very same junction that they send you back to.

They like to check that you have the motorway 'vignette' sticker too. 100 swiss franc fine + the 40 if you are caught and caught you will be. I got stopped twice in Switzerland for no reason as I was joining motorways.

So I booted it back to the junction and found that it sits lovely at 130mph. After phoning a pal in the UK and getting him to look for info on the floods on the internet I figured that most of the police were busy saving stranded swiss people.

Next, the navigation led us to Lichtenstein. Makes me feel like I'm in a Robert Ludlum spy novel. Armed border guards again who really check your passports..thoroughly. Then we find the way through the alps there is closed due to flooding. The navigation is trying to send me back to the original route as an alternative (cos it's stupid) What to do? I just headed in the opposite direction and hoped for the best. I was relying on the tomtom now cos I was off map on the Audi discs I had.

Then we were in Austria! Not that we new that we were in Austria.

Imagine the scene. I'd phoned the place in Italy to tell them we would be late. It was 7pm and we still had a few hundred miles to go. The sat nav took me to the B188. We passed through some beautiful driving roads that were deserted (I'd find out why later) The ground was moist but the quattro never let me feel concerned.

We passed a deserted toll booth. The road that followed was so scary that at one stage I felt like stopping and walking. Not 2 cars wide it zig-zagged up the side of a mountain which I found out later was the Piz Buin (10863ft/3312m at the head of the Ochsentaler glacier in the Silvretta) It started to mist as we were half way up and the drop over the side was sheer and un-barriered. As we approached the top it leveled off and my heart was thumping. The visibility got so bad that I had the wife telling me where the road was going from the sat nav map on the tomtom.

The road started a slow descent and I was beginning to feel better. Italy here we come. Then I came across a sign that I couldnt read n the middle of the road. So what did I do? What you would have done - I drove round it. A little further along were a couple of vans; parked up at the top of a mountain! how strange - cary on. Then the 'main' road I was on turned to a mud track with bits of rock sticking out. Aha, 4 wheel drive, no minor road works were going to stop me, until I came round the bend and the road stopped; literally. It became a mud slope at a 45 degree angle. (yes I was tempted before you ask). It was dark by now. No street lights and the whole family needed the loo. So we got out and my eldest cheerily asked me why the road was down in the valley. And it was - hundreds of feet below, tarmac and barriers still attached.

There was no way I was going back down that mountain in the dark (we even encountered wandering cows - you know, the ones with big bells round their necks) so we headed back to the only hotel we'd seen (imaginatively called the Piz Buin and yes it has got something to do with the suncream) I was ready to fight for a room but not only did they welcome us in but they opened up the restaurant specially to feed us (after I'd drunk 2 large beers to steady my hands)

In the bar the owner introduced us to a family who'd just battled their way back from Italy (they lived in the next village that was only accessible by the road that we'd found washed away) Luckily I had my laptop and michelin map disc with me and they showed me the route for tomorrow. Back the way we came through Lichtenstein, through the 6.5km long san bernardino tunnel then down to Milan and along to Lake Garda. Sounded easy!! If the tunnel was open.

Tip of the day: if you buy Mcdonalds in Switzerland they will take Euros but give change in Swiss Francs that you'll be stuck with forever!

Part 3 to follow: back down the Piz Buin at 10mph with the tiptronic in 1st gear.

[W8PMC]

Excellent, keep it coming.

Having toured through Europe, down to the San Marino GP a couple of years back in a TT, i can laugh & cry at your tale, having encountered some (but certainly not all) of your woes. I also took the RS6 across to The Ring a couple of weekends ago & again encountered some interesting moments. Agree on the Major Roads of Europe though. The disc took me happily from Calais right to our hotel outside Nordschliefe

[shimmy]

i can feel the jurasic beast implication coming on with branches moving in the trees and foot prints with 3 toes.

can I jump to e4 and get a preview of the next installment?

[Brooner]

Great i'm hooked. Not sure but i think we came down that road in september, the wife and i were on honymoon in lake garda, and had a day trip to the dolomites. Up and down n a bus that was fun

[installer69]

Going up the Piz Buin was bad but coming down with no fog and able to see how far the drop was certainly got the blood flowing.

How to go down such a steep decline in an automatic? I'd been told at the service prior to the trip that I had enough life in the pads (and discs) for the trip but the car was booked in for them 2 days after my return. Did this include lots of downhill braking and 30+ hairpins, I wondered.

Into tippytronic mode and select first. It was worrying and at one stage I had 4 cars behind me, 2 of whom overtook (must have had 2 wheels in thin air) but we got to the bottom and stopped for a look back up. Wow. In the same way that people jump out of planes more than once I found myself wanting to go through it again. The view was stunning.

Onwards to Italy with a new sense of purpose. You've got to have some admiration for the guys who built the roads round the mountains and the tunels through them. Every turn bought you into a view worthy of a postcard. Just wish I could have got the wife to drive so I could have got a better look at the valleys, lakes and mountains.

Got to the San bernardino tunnel eventually. Wouldn't do if you were claustrophobic. There was a lot of traffic due to the other routes being closed but the stuff coming the other way was shocking. Turns out that it was the end of the Germans holiday time (last week or so of our kids summer hols) and what with the big lorries (and I mean BIG) trying to climb the single lane steep climbs with no overtaking opportunities because of us lot going down, the queues were horrendous. Poor Germans.

One more set of border control at the Swiss/Italian border which looked like a film set with massive tv screens telling you the speed limit etc. 3 lanes down to 1 - nobody being stopped and the border guards trying to look cool in their shades.

In went the Italy sat nav disc before we crossed the border, location entered and... bloody thing sent us in a circle around Milan. I gave up and guessed in the end (it nearly sent us back to Switzerland!!) and we eventually got back on track.

Amazing thing happens once you enter Italy. All the swiss driver turn into speed demons! Well over a ton, most of them.

Stopped at a layby and the kids were thrilled not to have to pay to use the loo. The excitement was soon replaced by incredulity when my 6 year old came out and told me that someone had taken the toilet! She obviously didn't find the hole in the floor to her liking. Once they had accepted that it was that or wee themselves they bravely tried only to soak their trousers with the oversplash! Good old leather seats.

The service stations in Italy are in a different league. Even the fast food is acceptable - parma ham, cheese and salad in ciabatta, warm - and you can buy half a pig and a gallon of olive oil in the shop.

Eventually got off the motorway, spent most of the way following a Swiss X5 at 110mph hoping that the Italian police wouldn't try to pick me off.

Most of the smaller roads have ridiculously low speed limits - around 40mph - and no cars in sight. Tempting but I'd like to at least get to our destination with some money left.

Highlight of the day was following an old shitter of a van that was hitting the apexes and hanging out on the wrong side of the road on the twisty road that surrounds lake Garda. (either that or he was pissed)

Now I'd heard that the road to our apartment on the Limone part was a bit narrow and twisty but I wasn't quite prepared for how narrow. It was a concrete road that was no wider than the track of the Audi zig-zagging up the mountains that surround the lake. Steep enough that you couldn't see the road over your bonnet. Amazingly enough, after vthe Milan fiasco this concrete track was on the sat nav map!

Got to the apartment, set amidst the Olive trees and grape vines. I'd be happy to give details of the place if anyone is interested 'cos it was fantastic - car required.

Total estimated mileage accxording to Michelin - 650; actual mileage with detours 1250!!!

Tip of the day - petrol in Italy was between 10 and 15p per litre cheaper than France or Belgium but I never did work out how to use the 24 hour pump.

Part 4 - taking the wrong turn on the way down and reversing for over 1/4 of a mile!

[installer69]

My excuse is that it was nearly dark when we arrived. We got to the place where we were supposed to turn left and I went right!

It didn't look familiar and what with the rs6 not being the sveltist of automobiles I soon realised that I'd made a mistake. Because the roads were cut into the side of the hill one side was rock straight up. The other side was made up of peoples walls, gates and houses. I carried on for ages until I came to a point with walls either side that were covered with gouges and had traces of car paint on them. What did I do? Made the wife get out to guide me through. She was telling me to straighten up and keep going right up to the point that my right mirror touched the wall! At this point I realise that even with the mirrors turned in the arches would catch. So I made the wife walk behind directing me all the way back up.

Lake Garda? Fantastic but don't go without a car. Food was average! Gardaland (like disney) was great. I am sooo glad that the Audi had air con. Used it to death. The cup holder was great for holding the baby's bottle and the DVD wired up to the nav+ (modded to work while driving) provided some entertainment for the 'are we there yet' brigade. Glad I chose the avant for the 'throw it all in the back' practicality.

We drove all the round the lake looking for the ferries that cross it. Took most of the afternoon!! Bloody long way. The Italians appreciate the RS in a discreet way. They all followed the same MO. Quick glance. Get on with something else then discreetly wander round the front looking at the grille for the giveaway badge. Quite amusing unlike France where I ended up with an audience at the services when I opened the bonnet to top up the oil.

Forgot to mention, I saw more RS6s in Switzerland (where I thought the emission laws strangled cars) than I have seen in total, ever. Either that or all the A6s have had big wheels and alloy mirrors fitted.

Next time we go to Lake Garda I want to go for a month so we can explore more and go to Venice etc. The week really was too short.

I managed to escape Italy without police attention and we set off for our next stage in Belgium; Brugge. Fortunately the chap in Italy had installed wireless access so I used my laptop to book a Novotel in Strasbourg (I still can't accept that it's in France, not Germany) for our stopover.

The journey back through the Alps was uneventful but the scenery was still amazing.

As we left Italy we stopped at a service station and had the best meal we'd had in Italy (we'd avoided the donkey steaks and horse stew at the local restaurant - seriously!) They actually cooked the steak as you waited. No re-heated crap there and you could even get wine with your dinner. At a motorway services - cool. Encountered an unbelievable white van man on the motorway approaching Milan. I've never seen someone sit so close to another car's bumper at 80mph. Worrying.

Petrol in France was bloody expensive compared to italy.

Part 5 - if I haven't sent you into a coma - Brugge and why you should park outside the town and use a bike if you have 19 inch alloys!

[Amosu]

....

Wheres the rest then?

[installer69]

Had to finish it but have been busy.

We rented a very large apartment in Brugge 2 minutes walk away from the main square - which was just as well because you just can't park anywhere! Driving is a pain due to the narrow cobbled roads. I managed to dink my wheel within 5 mins.

We found a large underground car park and pretty much left the car there for the week.

Brugge is fantastic and we will go back again (by eurostar!) The food was superb - even the kiddies meals were freshly cooked and really tasty.

My wife decided to try lobster for the first time so we ordered a half . They said that they were having a special on smaller whole lobsters so she agreed but nearly died when they bought the poor little git up to her for approval, wriggling away! Brave girl ate it though. Kids thought we were going to get it as a pet until it turned up split in half with salad!!

Took time to visit my friends in Holland while we were there. Short trip up to Rotterdam for dinner, thought I.

4 hours! You thought only UK workmen coned off motorways down to 1 lane on a Sunday only to have nothing, and I mean Nothing, Going on.

Tedious journey even in the RS6.

To conclude the story, we got back safely. The wife managed to not drive at all. I enjoyed the experience and would recommend it to anyone who hates flying as much as I do. The RS6 proved capable and comfortable.Make sure you take a credit card and some cash for the fines! Invest in some nav discs. PM me for details of mine. Try to fit Austria into your itinery because it really is a beautiful place.

[MountainMutant]

Glad you got back safe and sound. I enjoyed that

[peterb]

We rented a very large apartment in Brugge 2 minutes walk away from the main square - which was just as well because you just can't park anywhere! Driving is a pain due to the narrow cobbled roads. I managed to dink my wheel within 5 mins.

Hmmm ... I think my young lady friend is planning to take me to see Brugge when I visit her in a fortnight. However, I'm going in the MR2 so maybe my wheels will be a bit safer.