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right how do I send pm's, I write one and submit and it just stays in my outbox, I re open and edit to submit again and it just stays there, sometimes it goes and ends up in the sentbox but the one I'm trying to send now is refusing to send.

How on earth do I send it?

it only transfers into the sentbox once the recipient has opened the message

okay, thanks for that, hopefully I haven't sent it 20 times then.