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does anyone know how to stop the alarm form automatically locking itself after 60 seconds, so it stays disarmed until you press the button yourself. also is thier any way of putting it in to slent mode once it is armed. thanks

Open/close a door after unlocking the car.

Yes, I think if you unlock the door with the remote keyfob then unless you open the door within 15 seconds then the car will automatically lock again. It's a safety feature and it prevents you from accidentally unlocking the car with the keyfob unintentionally.

I am not sure if it can be coded via Vagcom but I know that it's annoying when you lean on your key and it drops all the windows and open the sunroof