The Rules.

[bam_bam]

I'm just going to leave these here:

A 1980 Geneva Motorshow Quattro press launch pack. The outer cover has the traditional lower case "q" quattro script as does the 1980 brochure in the pack , however all the press photos have Quattro with a capital "Q" . The 30 page typed press information sheets from Audi's PR office in Inglostadt only refers to the car with a capital "Q" - quattroforum

To commemorate the success of the original vehicle, all subsequent Audis with their trademark quattro four wheel drive system were badged "quattro" with a lower case "q". The original car with the upper case "Q" in the Quattro name is a collector's piece. - Wikipedia (so it must be true)

The Quattro, with an upper case “Q” that lesser Audis don’t share, was introduced at the 1980 Geneva Motor Show. It won its first rally event shortly thereafter. Combining the 197-turbocharged horsepower of its inline five-cylinder engine with four-wheel drive, it was quick and surefooted on almost any surface. - Amazon car parts (yes, the book e-retailer)

The Audi Coupe GT was the weaker, less expensive sibling of the Quattro. It was introduced at approximately the same time as its rally-car brethren, and while the two cars shared many body parts, the Audi Coupe lacked the edgy aero refinements of the Quattro. While only normally aspirated engines of modest horsepower were available in the Coupe, the quattro (lower case “Q”) four-wheel drive system was a late addition to the line. While the Audi Coupe certainly never achieved the cult status of the Quattro, it was an excellent automobile. - Amazon car parts (yes, the book e-retailer)

Adding further complexity to the issue is the fact that, within the last decade, Audi has retroactively changed all references to the model to lowercase (as can be seen on the official website's historical gallery), to match its current branding scheme and copyright. While Audi now states that "quattro" must always be written fully in the lower case, all original documentation, promotional materials and press released during the model's actual production period use the uppercase format, which is still the usage of choice for hobbyists and writers not affiliated with Audi. Audi Quattro - Wikicars

[Jules]

Brilliant

[DazN]

21. - made me physically sick after seeing that. there are some sick folk out there.

Very funny though!!

[sonny]

21. - made me physically sick after seeing that. there are some sick folk out there.

Very funny though!!

Unfortunately its one of those things that has to be watched in life

[bam_bam]

21. - made me physically sick after seeing that. there are some sick folk out there.

Very funny though!!

Unfortunately its one of those things that has to be watched in life

It's the music that always cracks me up.

[Mr V10]

It is worth youtubing Stewie from Family Guy's reaction to two girls one cup, that creepy music doesn't make it any easier to watch.

[22B]

Hahaha, brilliant, absolute quality.

[54Kab]

Excellent. The new commandments.

[liwi]

3. Any girl that drives an Audi is automatically 5% hotter than her non-Audi driving equivalent, this percentage increases exponentially with the addition of S, RS and R badge designations. By this rational, Susan Boyle would be a perfect 10 if she drove the Audi R18, thank f*ck that’ll never happen
I think it could be any car over 500BHP?? does this mean I have gone -5% colder?

17. Women w*nk more than men
No proof that women does this more..otherwise I would ask you to go for rule no.1

24. The Southern Rolling road day will always manshame the Northern Rolling road day, prison style
We'll we have to make this different this year?

[el_ringo]

Awesome!

[snubsherfamily]

The Rules:
3. Any girl that drives an Audi is automatically 5% hotter than her non-Audi driving equivalent, this percentage increases exponentially with the addition of S, RS and R badge designations. By this rational, Susan Boyle would be a perfect 10 if she drove the Audi R18, thank f*ck that’ll never happen

Mathematically speaking, awarding extra percentages doesn't necessarily increase hotness.... EG Susan Boyle... She actually starts at a zero..... and a 5% addition to zero is still zero.

So put Susan Boyle in an R8? Well, even with an R8, she's still an ugly scottish old bag..... You could give her all the additional percentages going, and she'd be still be zero. Give her an R8 for every day of the week, and she's still a zero.....

Of course, if you felt up to it, you could always give her one........

[bam_bam]

@Liwi Re: Rule 3. This is an Audi forum, thus, if it's a 500+BHP Audi, then apply the rule 3 maths and then take a look at your new-found hot self in the mirror. If it's not an Audi, go to another forum and see if you get the same kind of love. If you don't, you've bought the wrong car, however, I suspect any guy is going to rate a girl higher if she's sat in a 500+BHP motor.
Re: Rule 17. Really? Just so we're clear, you want me to prove that women wank more than men AND you want me to actually post photographic evidence? I'm pretty sure PhilT would ban me so I'll find another way; since this forum exists on the Internet, I shall use this tool as my proof of concept.
Aim: To prove women wank more than men.
Method: Type "photos of women masturbating" into Google images.
Results: Yielded 76,700,000 images.
Further results and method: I then skipped off with my laptop to have some "me" time. Before leaving, I asked lady_bam to conduct the very same search but insisting she lopped off the W and the O before MEN. I didn't hear from her for quiet some time, even though my ears were very, very sensitive during this period. Later, when lady_bam and I crossed paths, she sheepishly mentioned that her browser continually crashed and she could not record a number of hits from Google images. Thus, closing the case on this conundrum.
Conclusion: There is no proof that men masturbate but there are 76,700,00 photos of woman caught in the act. I know, I sampled a vast majority of these beautiful works of art.
Re: Rule 24. We're still waiting...

@the entire Snubsher Family
No woman is a perfect zero, however a perfect 10 can still exist within this scale. I'll elaborate. There is ALWAYS one man willing to do a job no other would consider. There is ALWAYS enough beer in the world. There is ALWAYS a bad enough case of blue balls. That said, I'm completely at a loss as to where SuBo would rate on the 'hotness' scale but I stand by Rule 3. Put her in the R18 and I'd do her and she'd be a 10. Albeit a 10 that I'd have to 'thumb' it into, of course, she'd only be a perfect 10 because of the car.

I hope this has been helpful.

[PJC]

Very funny.

[snubsherfamily]

@the entire Snubsher Family

You misunderstand. There is no "snubsher" family. Read it again....

No woman is a perfect zero,

I'm sure that the world is full of zero's. You can define a zero as a horror that requires so much drink to even contemplate the act that you pass out before even starting...... And Susan Boyle would certainly fit into that boat.

A few other famous zero's that spring to mind......

Claire Short

Joe Brand

Rosie O'Donnell

The list, I'm sure is endless. Maybe the rest of the crew would add to the list?


If you choose to dip the well because it has a fancy R8 wrapper, you've still dipped that well......

Play safe. Rate them zero. If they are a zero, and sitting in the R8, kill them, remove the body, and have sex with the car instead Works for me




:):):)

[snubsherfamily]

Haha, love that, but going back to point 18 'quattro' is spelt exactly like that, with a small 'q'. It looks wrong with a capital.

Thats a bit of an urban myth........

The plain and simple answer is that Audi used both upper and lower case Q/q right from the start.

The cars used for the photo in the first brochures and PR photos in 1980 are IN-NA-96 and IN-NJ-66, both of these have "quattro" on the boot.

The photo showing the car at the launch at the Geneva Motorshow in 1980 : On the wall next to the car, it's "Audi Quattro". On the number plate on the car, it says "Audi quattro".........

When written in text in brochures, it's usually Audi Quattro, which is correct, you would normally capitalise a noun.

Audi are not consistent with their approach, this has contributed to the confusion concerning this (at the end of the day) trivial issue.


Whether it's q or Q, there is and only ever wil be only one "Audi Quattro". All other audis with the badge are just lesser imitators.......