Not the relay (itself) had it out, brand new, checked it with a 12v regualted supply (I used to be an electronics engineer!!), works fine.

Decided I would 'manually engage the relay' ie get a crock clip and keep the relay contacts together.

Guess what - All normal everythign works fine when I do this.

Even starts like it.....

So question now is :-

How is the relay triggered ? - does its feed come through the infamous 'hazzard switch' - or somewhere else, I have a circuit diagram and its fed on one side by the ignition switch (Which has been replaced to fix the fault!!) but its unclear (to me - thoose diagrams are not great to read if your not an auto tech!).
Any ideas - also if I did this a little more perm is it safe ?
Could it be an earth problem (still?), is it the hazzard switch ? - I could imagine paying for hours of time in the shop and still not finding it

Opinions please ?
At least I have a way of makingn things work now (!) . as I understand it this relay disconnects things which draw high current during startup so full current can be sent to the starter motor, after that it connects everything else. Surely this 'fix' is OK short term, as long as I'm careful whats on when I start it ? perhaps at least until I get a new hazzard swtich


Thanks for all the great help on here.... Really great....