Another B7 RS4 remap

[Love_iTT]

As there have been a few remap threads posted on here recently, I thought that I would join the list. Mine is the DCA (Didn’t Cost Anything) and so far seems totally reliable. Performance gains are minimal in the real world but in my pretend world, they are just awesome.

Very quick to install and with the added advantage that it is totally unrecognisable should the dealer decide to have a sniff around your trusted steed plus you can take it back to stock at the time of resale.

With no rolling road at my disposal for looking at the performance figures before installation, I had to make do with the old but trusted ‘Bum in seat’ method, crude I admit but nevertheless very accurate. After establishing a base line, I then set about the install.

First off, dig out your favourite ‘driving hard like you stole it’ CD and set the volume up reasonably loud, open all the windows so you can hear the exhaust (over the sound of the CD) to it’s full potential and if you’ve got a Milltek then even better and of course, have the Sport button pressed ‘ON’. Next, (and this is where you may have to get your hands dirty), check all the tyres are set at their optimum pressure and check the oil level too. Empty the boot of all excess rubbish so as to try and leave the bare minimum in there, take out all the used car parking tickets from the drivers door storage pocket and throw them away once and for all – you know you’ve been meaning to do it. Remember, weight kills acceleration times.

This bit is optional but if you’ve got some old matt black paint knocking around in the garage then slap some on the radiator grille surround and door mirror covers and any other shiny bits to give that ‘Stealth’ look. That way, no one will know you’ve got a great big V8 under the bonnet – that’s why they call it stealth – clever, init! I didn’t go for this option but I can see why others do.

Finally – and I must admit that this is my favourite bit – jam open the exhaust flaps in the back box with an old stick for that extra sound low down in the rev range, don’t worry about why it was put on there in the first place, just do it – it sounds awesome.

That’s about it really, I swear that with all the windows fully down and that CD playing as loud as you dare plus going through a narrow street with buildings either side then I reckon I had probably gained about another 5 – 10bhp and shaved a little off my 0-60 time too, and it didn’t cost me a penny.

Give it a go, you’ll be surprised.

Graham

[Jog]

Can I have a Pint of what he's drinking please.

[MEV]

As there have been a few remap threads posted on here recently, I thought that I would join the list. Mine is the DCA (Didn’t Cost Anything) and so far seems totally reliable. Performance gains are minimal in the real world but in my pretend world, they are just awesome.

Very quick to install and with the added advantage that it is totally unrecognisable should the dealer decide to have a sniff around your trusted steed plus you can take it back to stock at the time of resale.

With no rolling road at my disposal for looking at the performance figures before installation, I had to make do with the old but trusted ‘Bum in seat’ method, crude I admit but nevertheless very accurate. After establishing a base line, I then set about the install.

First off, dig out your favourite ‘driving hard like you stole it’ CD and set the volume up reasonably loud, open all the windows so you can hear the exhaust (over the sound of the CD) to it’s full potential and if you’ve got a Milltek then even better and of course, have the Sport button pressed ‘ON’. Next, (and this is where you may have to get your hands dirty), check all the tyres are set at their optimum pressure and check the oil level too. Empty the boot of all excess rubbish so as to try and leave the bare minimum in there, take out all the used car parking tickets from the drivers door storage pocket and throw them away once and for all – you know you’ve been meaning to do it. Remember, weight kills acceleration times.

This bit is optional but if you’ve got some old matt black paint knocking around in the garage then slap some on the radiator grille surround and door mirror covers and any other shiny bits to give that ‘Stealth’ look. That way, no one will know you’ve got a great big V8 under the bonnet – that’s why they call it stealth – clever, init! I didn’t go for this option but I can see why others do.

Finally – and I must admit that this is my favourite bit – jam open the exhaust flaps in the back box with an old stick for that extra sound low down in the rev range, don’t worry about why it was put on there in the first place, just do it – it sounds awesome.

That’s about it really, I swear that with all the windows fully down and that CD playing as loud as you dare plus going through a narrow street with buildings either side then I reckon I had probably gained about another 5 – 10bhp and shaved a little off my 0-60 time too, and it didn’t cost me a penny.

Give it a go, you’ll be surprised.

Graham

LOL Graham Have you been on the Wakey Backy this afternoon??!! I must admit though sometimes things are meant to be as they were made but that said dont we all sometimes like a fiddle ???

[t_urbo]

PMSL

I think a 'who can blow up their car first' thread would be better tho.

[Dom81]

Enought about remaps - isn't everyone going for remats this season instead?

I've heard that Autostlye are best for low end torque...

[Love_iTT]

Enought about remaps - isn't everyone going for remats this season instead?

I've heard that Autostlye are best for low end torque...

I think you meant '...for low end talk'

I was bored lunchtime and just fancied posting something for a laugh on a Monday

I couldn't stop messing about with my TTR when I had it as some of the members on here will know, the only thing stopping me doing the same to my RS4 is a) It's still too new to me and b) It was a flaf to convert it all back at resale time and I don't want to go through all that again with this one.

Don't get me wrong, I am the last one to have a pop at people modding their cars - it was done with tounge in cheek - the post I mean

Graham

[gw007]

First off, dig out your favourite ‘driving hard like you stole it’ CD and set the volume up reasonably loud

< snip>

That’s about it really, I swear that with all the windows fully down and that CD playing as loud as you dare plus going through a narrow street with buildings either side then I reckon I had probably gained about another 5 – 10bhp and shaved a little off my 0-60 time too, and it didn’t cost me a penny.

Give it a go, you’ll be surprised.

Graham

Surely you could improve your timings by using music on an SD card rather than a CD as the access times are much quicker, meaning you could go from (track) 0 to (track) 60 in under 4 seconds

[DoctorD]

Another tried and tested route to more performance is even simpler; kick all your passengers out and only fill the tank to just over reserve - you've just saved nearly 200kg and vastly increased your power/weight ratio.

[Love_iTT]

First off, dig out your favourite ‘driving hard like you stole it’ CD and set the volume up reasonably loud

< snip>

That’s about it really, I swear that with all the windows fully down and that CD playing as loud as you dare plus going through a narrow street with buildings either side then I reckon I had probably gained about another 5 – 10bhp and shaved a little off my 0-60 time too, and it didn’t cost me a penny.

Give it a go, you’ll be surprised.

Graham

Surely you could improve your timings by using music on an SD card rather than a CD as the access times are much quicker, meaning you could go from (track) 0 to (track) 60 in under 4 seconds

Now you're just being silly

Graham