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Bit of light amusement for the gentlemen this evening.

Horror day at work, came out, kerbed alloy.

Went to Shop, came out and stray dog pissing on said alloy wheel.

Came home, felt guilty and decided to top up the oil and clean the engine bay.

Too lazy to get my funnel and accidentally spilt some oil down the side of the cap. Mopped it mostly up and decided I should start the car to burn it off.

Wearing dirty old clothes so didn't want to get into my lovely clean buckets so leaned into the car, depressed clutch with my hand and hit starter button. Removed hand from clutch and car jolted forward into my ribs with the b pillar. I played rugby for a long time and I can tell you now a b7 rs4 hits hard.

Looked up and it dawned on me the car had stalled 2 inches from my new 5k garage door. Had I left it in reverse it would have jolted into a brand new 22b Impreza front bumper and bonnet.

As I sat there I thought maybe I should start it again and let the decats do their magic and I'll fall asleep.

Lol, hope your Monday's been better than mine.

(On a serious note the spilt oil is more likely to burn off than go on fire? Say about 2 table spoons of amount fell down the side of the right bank of cylinders have it mostly all mopped up, any advice?)

Cheers!

Class. Love the self-deprecating humour.

Hope you decided to stay away from the car for the evening and enjoy a couple of beers in front of the TV instead. Tomorrow, the kerbed alloy will make no difference to performance, the oil spill will forgotten and the smell of dog piss will be long gone. The best bit - you'll still be the owner and driver of an RS4. Life's good.

Cheers,
Bryan

lol cheers bryan, ribs are sore today i can tell you!

cheers

niall

Briggy wrote:Class. Love the self-deprecating humour.

Hope you decided to stay away from the car for the evening and enjoy a couple of beers in front of the TV instead. Tomorrow, the kerbed alloy will make no difference to performance, the oil spill will forgotten and the smell of dog piss will be long gone. The best bit - you'll still be the owner and driver of an RS4. Life's good.

Cheers,
Bryan

This has summed it up perfectly. And don't worry, we're all numpties sometimes/frequently/always!

Request pictures of said 22B. Their value must be insane now.

Did exactly the same thing a couple of years ago, unfortunately I'm built like shaggy from scooby doo so I got taken for a 10ft ride till it stalled. Was a scary moment as I nearly parked it in my kitchen, lesson learnt . My neighbour still likes to remind me of it on a weekly basis

had a close one whilst in Germany last month, basically swapped cars with my mate for a little blast so I'm in front in his c63 and he is following in my rs4. i pull up to the barrier to get into the place where we were staying but of course I am sat on the wrong side of the car so I put the car into park and get out to walk round to zap the card on the pad, welllll i thought i had put it in park, as soon as I got out of the car it started to go backwards (of course i had put it in reverse) haha! as it was about to smash into my car i managed to dive in and with my hand hit the brake pedal. lol

At least you guys didn't do any damage with your errors!

Back in my 6th form days I jumped in the drivers seat of my mates Kia hatchback (well his Dad's). I'd only had 1 or 2 lessons at the time, and was just doing a couple of laps around the car park very slowly. At the end of lap 2, as we got near the parking space i'd pulled out of, I was about to go back round, but my mate shouts "let's go back in" and grabs the steering wheel to steer us left into the space...I panic and jam the accelerator, and we smash into the rear corner of the car next to the space. Which belongs to a teacher. Never have 4 teenagers shat themselves so quickly before!

No harm done to teacher's car, Kia was in a state though. Oops