Got the thing, looks like the xcarlink one, sort of. So pulled the RNS-D out and as you know there are 3 ISO like connectors down at the bottom right corner and a round connector for the CD changer (I think it is for that).
The trouble is that the unit that I got came with a cable that had 2 smaller connectors like the ones at the top of this picture:

Now, I don't want to spunk out more money on getting a xcarlink one if it's just me being a <beep> and not working it out, but I can't see how it would work. Also, why would the carlink one also have similar connectors (albeit on the "adapter")
Anyone?
Also, the Mrs managed to fat fingers the code and locked the thing, which I read it unlocks in an hour and then you can enter the code, though I was in the car driving for longer than an hour and it still said Unit Locked. It nearly went out the window with 2 kids.
Thanks! It felt like 0 steps forward 3 backwards.