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No such thing as a dumb question.
Pictures stolen from another thread

I'd say it's almost certain to be the internal valves. Mine started with smoking if it had stood unused for a few days, then moved on to smoking at random when started first time when used daily. Eventually is was at just about every start and sometimes more than once a day. It could fill a good hun...

I think checking is easier than that - disconnect and remove the pump (taking care not to drop the plunger rod) then you can see the top of the follower - the wear on other engines is clearly visible on the upper surface of it. On some the plunger actually cuts a hole in the follower top face.

Noise from the pump could be that the cam follower is worn. Unlike some other models I don't think it's common on the V10 but it's something to check before laying out for a new pump.

I understand that the policies of VAG service centres and aftermarket places that use VAG procedures is that the plugs and washers are replaced at each oil change. Washers ok, but the plugs as well? I mean, they aren't exactly fragile are they.

A rule of thumb is that if the vehicle has 3 differentials (like a 'proper' non-Haldex quattro), then tyre wear/tread depth doesn't really matter. If there's a viscous coupling in the mix (like a Subaru or Volvo) then it matters a lot. I've driven quattros for 30 years and never had a problem, not e...

The 10mm deep seal (07L103051D) was used on the Lamborghini HURACAN LP600 and has been superseded to 07L 103 051F at around £25 +tax from Eurospares.

Works for me.

I know what you're thinking, thought I was going to have to go that route first time I had my pump off but there's no need to remove compressor. Resistance to moving the pump is mostly down to the driveshaft splines sticking to the accessory drive, the shaft cover not wanting to move from the either...

My unit codes are the same as Ian's Coding 3547899 Workshop code 02556 Importer number 785 Equipment number 00200 I can't get all the options I know of (RHD Avant, with sunroof, LEDs, inclination sensor, convenience on key fob, all the rear lid stuff etc etc) to add up to 3547899, I'm around 8000 or...

The most likely point for oil leaks is the legendary '50p seal" (which is actually an 'O' ring and is now around £3) on the oil pump drive cover, it's probably the subject that appears most frequently on this forum. As far as the oil pump itself is concerned, there are something like a dozen interna...

Steering column adjustment - especially the automatic retraction and repositioning - can be corrupted by low battery voltage and sometimes needs a a reset with VCDS to get it working properly again.

Yes. On my car the left most hose connection to the PS cooler compacted under the hose clip allowing fluid to leak out and run back to drip off the bumper/undertray at the front of the wheel arch. The fluid took soo much road grit and other debris with it that it was difficult to work out what it wa...

Initialise is the reset option, it causes the TPMS to recognise the sensors (and register new ones) and their locations on the car. Store pressures logs base pressures for each sensor - when (if) a sensor pressure has dropped by a certain percentage (10%? Maybe, I don't know the figure) the TPM unit...

I regularly but at random intervals get two errors: 01467 - Front Left Tire Pressure Sensor (G222) 004 - No Signal/Communication - Intermittent - MIL ON and 01521 - Sensor for Tire Pressure 004 - No Signal/Communication - Intermittent - MIL ON The FL sensor is the only one which I have yet to replac...